Have you ever had one of those nights when you looked in the pantry and discovered that Old Mother Hubbard had a wider selection to choose from? On top of that, your children remind you of a whole pack of man eating plants crying, "Feed me, Seymour!" Sound familiar? That's what I was facing last night. Of course, our pantry wasn't completely bare, but what was in it were the types of items that don't exactly scream, "We will go well together to make a healthy, tasty, meal for you and your family."
It all pretty much started like this:
Scene: I'm in my car driving home. I call home (using my hands free bluetooth. I promise.)
Neva - Hello?
Me - Howdy doody tutti frutti!
Neva - Hello.
Me - Watcha cooking for dinner?
Neva - I don't know? What are YOU cooking?
Me - I don't know. What do we have?
Neva - I brought home some leftover cheese, tortilla chips, and ground beef from our taco salad day at work.
Me - Tell Sissy(Our daughter, Christina) to brown the beef. I'll be home soon and figure out the rest.
I know! I know! Not exactly the makings of a hit movie, but pretty close to the truth. Anyway, I get home and walk in the kitchen. Sissy is just about done frying some ground beef and diced onion. Obviously we are having Mexican (actually, a very loose interpretation of Mexican). What else would you have with beef, cheese, and tortilla chips? I open up the spice cabinet and hand Sissy some chili powder, beef bouillon, and creole seasoning. What!?! Doesn't every Mexican dish get seasoned with Tony Chachere's? I did say this was a very loose interpretation of Mexican. Why did I add beef bouillon to my ground beef? Call me crazy. I think it just adds a certain richness to the flavor of the beef. I sure wish I had some cumin. Oh well. Chili powder and creole seasoning. Just call me Pancho Thibodeaux.
I opened up the pantry to see what else I could use. I pulled out a can of spaghetti sauce (Now I'm Pancho Gino Thibodeaux). Ah! There's some instant brown rice. Crap! It's only half a box. What to do? (This blog is getting very hard to write. It could have something to do with all the fart noises coming out of Sissy's Kindle Fire. I'm sure Santa is so happy she is putting that thing to such good use.) Hmmmmm. Well...there is some quinoa. I wonder how that will go with a Mexican, Italian, Creole dish? Only one way to find out. Without further adieu, I pulled out my gorgeous heavy duty baking dish that Santa Neva gave me for Christmas. I mix the beef, spaghetti sauce, rice, quinoa, two cups of water and more chili powder and Tony Chachere's. I then place a layer of tortilla chips in the dish, followed by half the beef mixture and a healthy layer of shredded cheese. Next, I repeated the whole process. I topped it off with crumbled up tortillas and more cheese. Then I covered with foil, and set to bake at 350 for about 45 minutes. The first part of the mystery double feature was in the oven.
Now we just had to figure out the second mystery. My wonderful wife decided we would watch something on Netflix. The movie of choice is Shutter Island. Now my wife is an absolutely wonderful person, able to do many wonderful things. However, operating a remote is not necessarily one of those talents. We watch Netflix through our Nintendo Wii. The story played out last night like it usually does.
Neva - How do I get it to play
Christina - Just hit the A button.
Neva - I can't get the arrow to move
Christina - Momma. Just hit the A button.
Neva - The arrow won't move. I must be too far away.
Christina - Momma! Just hit the A button!
Neva - But I'm too far away.
Christina - You don't have to move the arrow! Play is already highlighted on the TV. Just hit the A button!
Neva - But, I'm too far...
Christina and Dad - Just hit the freakin' A button!!
Neva - Fine!
Insert long pause
Neva - You didn't have to yell at me.
At this point Christina and Dad roll their eyes in complete exasperation.
Thus began the second part of our mystery double feature...finally!
A little into the movie, the oven timer goes off. I pull off the foil and stick this concoction back in the oven for another 10 minutes. Another ding resonates through the house. Our mystery dinner is ready. As Christina and I are eyeballing the thing I took out of the oven, I look at my daughter and say, "If it turns out nasty, this was all your mother's idea. If it turns out real good, It was all me!" Dinner was served up and the appropriate blessing was said.
"Dear Lord,
Thank you for this supper, for the hands that helped prepare it, and for everything you have done for us and given us. Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies....And PLEEEEEEZE let this food taste good. In Jesus' name, Amen."
On that Friday night, the Lord said, "This is good."
...and, it was.
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