What do you call a heart attack smothered in clogged arteries? A good southern breakfast!

Don't you just love southern cooking? If you really think about it, good southern cooking is really just a method for killing people...all while leaving a gigantic smile on their mouths. I do my best to make things healthy. I try to ensure each meal has at least one vegetable that has not been deep fried. I also try to stick with the leaner cuts of meat whenever possible. Unfortunately, no matter how healthy one tries to be, the subtle call of a southern breakfast can't be resisted. Every now and then, one must succumb to the cries of the biscuits and gravy.

One of those days happened to be this past Saturday. I had a hankering for a good southern breakfast. In fact, that hankering started the night before, so I was actually able to plan for it. In my mind I saw a plate full of biscuits smothered in sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, buttered grits, and hash brown potatoes. Didn't have any grits in the pantry. Scratch those, I soon discovered I was in the same world of hurt regarding my breakfast sausage. Wait a minute, though. I remembered a pound of ground pork in the freezer. I decided that I needed homemade sausage. Homemade pork sausage can be wonderful. The thing is you have to be very careful about how much sage you use. The tendency is to use a lot. However, it is very easy to overwhelm the rest of the flavors with the taste of sage. If you use too much sage, you will end up with sausage that has somewhat of a musty earthy aftertaste. Anyway, I mixed the seasonings into the pork on Friday night, and put the mixture in the fridge to meld the flavors overnight.

The first task on Saturday morning is biscuits. I will admit, I am just as finicky about my biscuits as I am about cornbread. It doesn't take much for me to deem a biscuit a total failure. When looking for a biscuit recipe, I am always looking for something crusty, but not too crunchy,  I want a pillowy soft interior to this biscuit. A good sign of a pillowy interior is a biscuit that has risen high. In my search for the perfect biscuit, I came across a recipe for cracked black pepper biscuits from Bobby Flay. You can find the recipe at the Food Network site. Of course, I had to make a few modification. I took off the black pepper. Not once have I ever had black pepper on the tops of my biscuits. No black pepper. Bobby calls for twelve tablespoons of unsalted butter. Personally, I am a shortening fan. Finally, Bobby wanted me to brush the biscuits with cream before placing in the oven. Cream aint cheep. Milk worked just fine. In fact, those were some downright tasty biscuits. They were definitely fluffy.

That funny shaped biscuit in the middle is Neva's special biscuit. I always have a scrap of dough left. Usually, it is just big enough for one more biscuit. Rather than rolling and cutting out, I just shape it by hand. Nobody (and I do mean nobody) is allowed to eat that biscuit but my lovely wife.

All that was left was to make the sausage gravy and other breakfast items. In the end, I ended up only fixing the gravy and some hash brown potatoes. I decided we really didn't need eggs too. I would like to think I was being health conscious.  After all, while eating my scrumptious breakfast, I only felt one artery harden. That has to be an improvement. I sure hope going back for seconds and thirds don't count against me.