The Great Food Junkie Starts 2013 With More Grillin and Chillin!

I know many of you have gone into a deep depression because I haven't written as much lately. It is not because I have become a lazy, no good, sloth, who just lays around all day trying to do as little as possible. However, I'm sure some people think that is one of my life goals. Nope! Trust me when I say there has been a whole lotta cooking going on at the GFJ's house. After all, when you get cooking gadgets for Christmas, you have to try them out. I'll get to those in a bit.

It didn't take long before the GFJ grew tired of all the Christmas food. There is only so much turkey, ham, and assorted sweets a person can handle. So, I went out to the freezer in the garage and started to peruse the shelves. It was only a moment when my eyes landed upon the last of our chuck roasts. Hmmm! Chuck roast sounds good, but I don't really want to break out the slow cooker and have to cut and peel a bunch of potatoes, carrots, and onions. There had to be more to the life of a chuck roast than being stuck in a slow cooker. The poor thing just sat there. Staring at me. A tear fell from its eye.

"Please, Sir," it begged with hands clasped. "Don't let me become another pot roast. I have so much more potential."

How could I, the Great Food Junkie, ignore such pleading. I gently picked up the poor sap, and stroked his packaging with my hand. "Come with me, Chuck!" I exclaimed. "You were meant for much greater things. Together, we can make your dreams come true."

I new what I had to do. I had to figure out some way to grill the chuck roast. After all, what says I love you to a piece of meat like a grill? I found a good marinade recipe that included barbecue sauce, teriyaki sauce, minced garlic, and sliced ginger. I didn't have any teriyaki, so I did the next best thing. I added a little Irish whiskey. I mixed it all up, and poured it over my chuck roast. Then it sat in the fridge for the better part of a day.

However, I knew Chuck couldn't make this journey to greatness alone. He was going to need a faithful sidekick. It had to be something complimentary, but not overpowering. I put my thinking cap on and came up with new potatoes, skewered and grilled, right alongside Chuck. I went to the store and picked up the potatoes, bamboo skewers, and then it hit me. Bacon! These potatoes need to be intertwined with bacon. The wife looked at me and said, "You need to get thick sliced. The other will just fall apart on the grill." This was indeed going to be a glorious day. I had just been given permission to spend money on thick cut bacon.

When we got home, we rubbed the potatoes in olive oil and pink Himalayan salt. Then we skewered them, intertwining them with the thick cut bacon. Then, for added measure, Neve took each skewer and wrapped an additional slice of bacon around the potatoes. However, this presented us with a dilemma. We had a few slices of bacon left...but, not enough to save for another meal. Well! Surely Chuck would need the proper outfit for his adventure to greatness. So Chuck came out of the marinade, got a quick dry off, a rubdown with Santa Maria seasoning, and a nice new set of bacon clothes. Then it was out to the grill!

Chuck and his new friends on an adventure

 Those cool things Chuck and friends are sitting on are called GrillGrates. They are anodized aluminum, and have high ridges. They sit directly on your existing grates, or can be used as replacement grates. The nice thing about them is that the ridges get extra hot, providing excellent searing and grill marks, while the juices drip into the deep spaces between the ridges. The juices sizzle and evaporate, creating more flavor and moisture for the meat, and preventing flare ups. You absolutely must check them out at www.grillgrate.com. They are one of the best improvements you could make to any grill.

After about an hour, Chuck and friends reached the pinnacle of success. I truly believe they achieved a personal nirvana. And I was frickin' hungry!

 It wasn't long before The Great Food Junkie had also reached Nirvana. Chuck was a perfect medium pink in the middle, and his sidekicks, the potatoes and bacon, were spectacular.

Chuck and friends in all of their glory

The adventures with Chuck the roast were just the beginning for the GFJ. If you'll remember, I mentioned a couple Christmas gifts that had to be tried out. The GFJ's wife received a set of tortilla shell pans. You know you've seen the commercials on TV. "Make your own taco salads!" It really is a simple concept. You place burrito size tortillas in these pans, bake for 10-12 minutes, and Presto! You have perfect tortilla shell bowls for a taco salad.

 They don't taste quite as good as the fried shells you get at the restaurant. Can anything really taste better than fried? However, they really are tasty and crispy. In fact, they hold their crisp well enough to fill with chili mac...twice.

The other device was something the wife and I bought each other for Christmas. I saw one of those "does it work" segments on the news, and it featured the Yonana. What is a Yonana? It is a device that takes frozen bananas and other fruits or additives, and makes them into a dessert very similar in texture and taste to soft serve ice cream. If you are wanting a healthy alternative to ice cream, or even if you could care less about the health aspect, and want to try something new, you have to check this thing out. The treats that come from it are spectacular. One of the best things is that it isn't frozen cream. It is frozen banana. That means your ice cream doesn't melt! The pictures below, do not do this thing justice at all. The first was a raspberry, blueberry, and strawberry yonana. It tasted great! However, nothing puts a damper on eating dessert like fighting tons of raspberry seeds. Oh well. The second was a yonana made with a tropical fruit blend of strawberries, mangos, and pineapple. That was an absolute hit. The key is to get your bananas as ripe as you can before freezing. The blacker the peel, the better the banana. This ensures your bananas are providing the maximum sweetness, while not overpowering the dish with their own flavor.

 I think the Great Food Junkie has made up for his lack of communications in this entry. He is going to sign off before your snoring gets too loud for the neighbors. I hope you all have a wonderful new year, and I look forward to all of our 2013 food adventures. Until next time, when the GFJ takes a bite out of Bambi, Goodbye!

What do you call a heart attack smothered in clogged arteries? A good southern breakfast!

Don't you just love southern cooking? If you really think about it, good southern cooking is really just a method for killing people...all while leaving a gigantic smile on their mouths. I do my best to make things healthy. I try to ensure each meal has at least one vegetable that has not been deep fried. I also try to stick with the leaner cuts of meat whenever possible. Unfortunately, no matter how healthy one tries to be, the subtle call of a southern breakfast can't be resisted. Every now and then, one must succumb to the cries of the biscuits and gravy.

One of those days happened to be this past Saturday. I had a hankering for a good southern breakfast. In fact, that hankering started the night before, so I was actually able to plan for it. In my mind I saw a plate full of biscuits smothered in sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, buttered grits, and hash brown potatoes. Didn't have any grits in the pantry. Scratch those, I soon discovered I was in the same world of hurt regarding my breakfast sausage. Wait a minute, though. I remembered a pound of ground pork in the freezer. I decided that I needed homemade sausage. Homemade pork sausage can be wonderful. The thing is you have to be very careful about how much sage you use. The tendency is to use a lot. However, it is very easy to overwhelm the rest of the flavors with the taste of sage. If you use too much sage, you will end up with sausage that has somewhat of a musty earthy aftertaste. Anyway, I mixed the seasonings into the pork on Friday night, and put the mixture in the fridge to meld the flavors overnight.

The first task on Saturday morning is biscuits. I will admit, I am just as finicky about my biscuits as I am about cornbread. It doesn't take much for me to deem a biscuit a total failure. When looking for a biscuit recipe, I am always looking for something crusty, but not too crunchy,  I want a pillowy soft interior to this biscuit. A good sign of a pillowy interior is a biscuit that has risen high. In my search for the perfect biscuit, I came across a recipe for cracked black pepper biscuits from Bobby Flay. You can find the recipe at the Food Network site. Of course, I had to make a few modification. I took off the black pepper. Not once have I ever had black pepper on the tops of my biscuits. No black pepper. Bobby calls for twelve tablespoons of unsalted butter. Personally, I am a shortening fan. Finally, Bobby wanted me to brush the biscuits with cream before placing in the oven. Cream aint cheep. Milk worked just fine. In fact, those were some downright tasty biscuits. They were definitely fluffy.

That funny shaped biscuit in the middle is Neva's special biscuit. I always have a scrap of dough left. Usually, it is just big enough for one more biscuit. Rather than rolling and cutting out, I just shape it by hand. Nobody (and I do mean nobody) is allowed to eat that biscuit but my lovely wife.

All that was left was to make the sausage gravy and other breakfast items. In the end, I ended up only fixing the gravy and some hash brown potatoes. I decided we really didn't need eggs too. I would like to think I was being health conscious.  After all, while eating my scrumptious breakfast, I only felt one artery harden. That has to be an improvement. I sure hope going back for seconds and thirds don't count against me.

So, What goes well with pork loin...that I actually have?

Apples!

Let me start off by apologizing for the lame title for this post. I was so proud of the meal I cooked Saturday, that I knew I wanted to blog about it. Unfortunately, in the ensuing days, I was not able to come up with a title for this blogpost that I really fancied. So! Since you got this far, you obviously got past the title. Thanks for not holding it against me, and refusing to read my ramblings.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I got up Saturday morning. (I know. that in itself is pretty amazing.) I was facing another four hour shift of grilling hot dogs, hamburgers, and smoked sausages for the Boy Scouts. (I think I now qualify as an expert on those items.) I also knew that there was only a minutely slim possibility that someone else in my family was going to start supper that evening. Therefore, I had to do one of those scary things, and plan ahead. I looked in the freezer, to see what could be put in the slow cooker. Behold! I still had a 2.5lb pork loin just waiting to be cooked. I nuked it in the microwave (on defrost). After all, any good chef would take all possible opportunities to add gamma rays, nuclear radiation, and all that other stuff to their food. That's what gives our dishes that special "glow". Remember that smoked salt I wrote about in another blog. Well, I sprinkled that and some black pepper on the loin and seared it in a skillet until all sides were nicely crisped.

Woohoo! Now I had a partially cooked lump of meat. That's really going to bowl the family over. What to do? What to do? Then my little eye spied a bag with some apples in it. It just so happened that this bag had one of those proverbial rotten apples getting ready to spoil the whole bushel (well...the other five). I took out Mr. Rotten and gave him the heave ho. Then I used the apple corer/slicer on the others. I did not peel the apple. People in my family quickly learn to enjoy fruit and vegetable skins. I hate peeling, unless the skin is just inedible. I then found some baby carrots, and craisins. Craisins are the neatest things. They're just like raisins, but made out of cranberries. The neat thing is they don't go bad...ever....never! That's right, folks, we actually have a food product that could potentially outlast the cockroach population of the world...without the use of preservatives. I mixed all that together with some granulated sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and just a little ground sage. I then put all that stuff on top of the pork loin. Heck! Even raw, this dish was starting to look good.

Fast forward about eight hours. Now we have a slow cooker full of pure heaven.

Oooo, Doggie! supper was gonna be good tonight. There was a problem though. With all that sugar, I still didn't have enough starch! (Calm down! I'm just kidding!) I had some potatoes that were starting to sprout some little vinelets (baby vines, for those of you who don't like me making words up). I decided we needed to have some Potatoes Anna to go with our pork roast.

Potatoes Anna is a fancy sounding name for a classic French peasant dish. It is quite literally just sliced potatoes, salt, pepper, and butter. Don't let that whole peasant dish thing disappoint you. That just means it is the food of the people. Go back to the Middle Ages and you basically had only two classes, aristocracy and peasants. Trust me, you and I would have been in the peasant class, and quite proud of it. They had better food. The peasants were the workers, and those cooking, knew they had to make the food hearty and tasty to provide the nutrition to keep the workers healthy. The other good thing about peasant food was that it was much less likely to contain hemlock or arsenic. Those aristocrats had a nasty habit of trying to kill each other off.

Anyway, Potatoes Anna is just good plain peasant food...and one of the tastiest ways to cook potatoes. It really is quite simple to fix. You basically slice six to eight potatoes as thinly as you can. Once again, they are supposed to be peeled. Once again, I didn't peel them. I find the best cooking dish for these is a good cast iron skillet. Melt a stick of butter. Brush the inside of the skillet with some of the butter, then cover the bottom with a layer of potato slices. Brush that layer with butter, then sprinkle with salt (Use kosher, if you have it. It provides little bursts of flavor you can't get with table salt.) and pepper. Lay down another layer of potatoes and repeat with the butter, salt and pepper. Continue to do this with the rest of the potatoes. If you have any butter left over, drizzle it over the top of everything. You will end up with something like the dish pictured below.

Place some foil over the pan, and put it on a med/hi burner. Cook until you hear sizzling. Continue cooking for about five minutes. You will then transfer the dish to a 425 degree oven and bake for 20 - 25 minutes. Pull the foil off and press the potatoes down with a spatula. Bake uncovered for an additional 25 minutes. You should end up with something like this.

Crispy on the outside. Soft and buttery on the inside. You are supposed to then place a plate over the top and flip, so you can see the nice golden brown bottom. I had just spent four hours flipping burgers, and another two hours cooking supper. (I know! So much for saving time by planning ahead. I also baked a loaf of bread) I was not about to expend my last bit of energy, trying to flip a frickin' twelve inch cast iron skillet. The family would just have to imagine how golden brown it was on the bottom.

Needless to say. We ate very well that night. There wasn't a shred of pork left, and every belly was full. It was worth the effort, but the next day, I let the funny lady at China Royal cook for me.

That's Christina. I am NOT wearing a frilly pink sweater!