So, What goes well with pork loin...that I actually have?

Apples!

Let me start off by apologizing for the lame title for this post. I was so proud of the meal I cooked Saturday, that I knew I wanted to blog about it. Unfortunately, in the ensuing days, I was not able to come up with a title for this blogpost that I really fancied. So! Since you got this far, you obviously got past the title. Thanks for not holding it against me, and refusing to read my ramblings.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I got up Saturday morning. (I know. that in itself is pretty amazing.) I was facing another four hour shift of grilling hot dogs, hamburgers, and smoked sausages for the Boy Scouts. (I think I now qualify as an expert on those items.) I also knew that there was only a minutely slim possibility that someone else in my family was going to start supper that evening. Therefore, I had to do one of those scary things, and plan ahead. I looked in the freezer, to see what could be put in the slow cooker. Behold! I still had a 2.5lb pork loin just waiting to be cooked. I nuked it in the microwave (on defrost). After all, any good chef would take all possible opportunities to add gamma rays, nuclear radiation, and all that other stuff to their food. That's what gives our dishes that special "glow". Remember that smoked salt I wrote about in another blog. Well, I sprinkled that and some black pepper on the loin and seared it in a skillet until all sides were nicely crisped.

Woohoo! Now I had a partially cooked lump of meat. That's really going to bowl the family over. What to do? What to do? Then my little eye spied a bag with some apples in it. It just so happened that this bag had one of those proverbial rotten apples getting ready to spoil the whole bushel (well...the other five). I took out Mr. Rotten and gave him the heave ho. Then I used the apple corer/slicer on the others. I did not peel the apple. People in my family quickly learn to enjoy fruit and vegetable skins. I hate peeling, unless the skin is just inedible. I then found some baby carrots, and craisins. Craisins are the neatest things. They're just like raisins, but made out of cranberries. The neat thing is they don't go bad...ever....never! That's right, folks, we actually have a food product that could potentially outlast the cockroach population of the world...without the use of preservatives. I mixed all that together with some granulated sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and just a little ground sage. I then put all that stuff on top of the pork loin. Heck! Even raw, this dish was starting to look good.

Fast forward about eight hours. Now we have a slow cooker full of pure heaven.

Oooo, Doggie! supper was gonna be good tonight. There was a problem though. With all that sugar, I still didn't have enough starch! (Calm down! I'm just kidding!) I had some potatoes that were starting to sprout some little vinelets (baby vines, for those of you who don't like me making words up). I decided we needed to have some Potatoes Anna to go with our pork roast.

Potatoes Anna is a fancy sounding name for a classic French peasant dish. It is quite literally just sliced potatoes, salt, pepper, and butter. Don't let that whole peasant dish thing disappoint you. That just means it is the food of the people. Go back to the Middle Ages and you basically had only two classes, aristocracy and peasants. Trust me, you and I would have been in the peasant class, and quite proud of it. They had better food. The peasants were the workers, and those cooking, knew they had to make the food hearty and tasty to provide the nutrition to keep the workers healthy. The other good thing about peasant food was that it was much less likely to contain hemlock or arsenic. Those aristocrats had a nasty habit of trying to kill each other off.

Anyway, Potatoes Anna is just good plain peasant food...and one of the tastiest ways to cook potatoes. It really is quite simple to fix. You basically slice six to eight potatoes as thinly as you can. Once again, they are supposed to be peeled. Once again, I didn't peel them. I find the best cooking dish for these is a good cast iron skillet. Melt a stick of butter. Brush the inside of the skillet with some of the butter, then cover the bottom with a layer of potato slices. Brush that layer with butter, then sprinkle with salt (Use kosher, if you have it. It provides little bursts of flavor you can't get with table salt.) and pepper. Lay down another layer of potatoes and repeat with the butter, salt and pepper. Continue to do this with the rest of the potatoes. If you have any butter left over, drizzle it over the top of everything. You will end up with something like the dish pictured below.

Place some foil over the pan, and put it on a med/hi burner. Cook until you hear sizzling. Continue cooking for about five minutes. You will then transfer the dish to a 425 degree oven and bake for 20 - 25 minutes. Pull the foil off and press the potatoes down with a spatula. Bake uncovered for an additional 25 minutes. You should end up with something like this.

Crispy on the outside. Soft and buttery on the inside. You are supposed to then place a plate over the top and flip, so you can see the nice golden brown bottom. I had just spent four hours flipping burgers, and another two hours cooking supper. (I know! So much for saving time by planning ahead. I also baked a loaf of bread) I was not about to expend my last bit of energy, trying to flip a frickin' twelve inch cast iron skillet. The family would just have to imagine how golden brown it was on the bottom.

Needless to say. We ate very well that night. There wasn't a shred of pork left, and every belly was full. It was worth the effort, but the next day, I let the funny lady at China Royal cook for me.

That's Christina. I am NOT wearing a frilly pink sweater!

Eat Pizza and Promote Peace!

It is my firm belief that if God had given the Israelites pizza every day while they were wandering around for forty years (There's a good argument for GPS, if there ever was one), they would not have rebelled quite so often. After all, what one food item can easily present members of all food groups in a delicious, easy to hold form factor? Perhaps, if Moses had come down from the mountain top with some pizzas to feast on whilst reading the stone tablets, God's chosen people would have taken the time to actually comprehend the message he was delivering. I bet the whole Israeli/Palestinian conflict could be ended tomorrow, if the leaders would just sit down and hold a "Pizza Summit".

This pepperoni is divine! You can have Gaza.

Now! One might get the impression that I am ever so slightly partial to the culinary delight that is Pizza. I'm not really sure what would ever give one that impression, but he/she would be...

...correct.

What is there not to love about hot gooey cheese, tomato sauce and a crunchy crust. Even the act of cooking pizza is bliss itself. Would you consider visions of a hot bubbly meatloaf sitting in the oven romantic? How about a pot of brussels sprouts boiling on the stove top? That certainly gets the emotions going. However, they are NOT the emotions of romance and desire. But, then you imagine a pizza baking in a wood fired oven...

If that doesn't get you going, you are one cold hearted person!

Let's get something straight right now. Everyone thinks of pizza as Italian. What we eat over here, in the great US of A, is NOT Italian. The pizza we all grew up with is American through and through. I've been to Italy. I've had Italian pizza. I'm sure it tastes wonderful...to Italians. Yes, you can get a pepperoni pizza in Italy. But, that is really just an Italian selling you American pizza. That's the beauty of pizza, though. No matter where you go, you will probably find pizza. In each place, it will be different. Pizza is such a universal dish, yet completely customizable to the culture. The closest most of us will come to a true Italian pizza is a Pizza Margherita. This is pizza in one of it's simplest, yet most delicious forms. Tomato sauce, crust, mozzarella cheese, and fresh basil.

Everybody has their favorite local pizza joint. Pizza is one of those dishes that stirs up the passions. Everyone thinks they know where the best pizza is made, and all of you non-believers can just shut up, and go to...I think you get the picture. I'm like everyone else. I have my favorites too. None of those favorites include the three national pizza chains. Don't get me wrong. They aren't bad, just not great.

When I am looking for a place to go and relax with friends, while enjoying some of the best pizza, the family and I head over to Pietro Pizza and Subs. This place is run by a mother/daughter duo, two of the nicest people you will ever meet. Pictured below, is one of our favorite pizzas from Pietro...the Meatza pizza!

Pietro uses a fairly thin crust that puffs up nice and plump around the edges. It is not exactly like, but very similar to, a New York style pizza. If we are feeling especially sinful, we will order a stuffed Meatza. That sucker is a Meatza pizza with an additional crust put on top. that Top crust is covered in butter(I think), Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasonings. Very good, and very messy. If you are in the mood for something good, but not necessarily pizza, I can certainly recommend the strombili (definitely large enough for two people), or the Italian salad. If there is one complaint I have, it is that Pietro uses canned mushrooms on the pizzas and salads. Fresh would be much nicer, especially on the salads. However, if mushrooms are the only problem, I'll just shut up and keep chompin'.

A coworker of mine recently introduced me to my second favorite source for pizza. That would be Papa Murphy's. Papa Murphy's is the fifth largest pizza chain in the country, with over 1200 stores in 37 states. The interesting thing about Papa Murphy's is that you don't eat there. In fact, our local store has just one little bench. They don't even cook the pizzas for you. They simply build them, and hand them over...with instructions. While they may not cook their pizza's, they certainly do build some of the best pizzas you will ever bake. Do you want a pizza that tastes better than delivery? Go to Papa Murphy's. Don't let those DiGiorno people fool you. They make frozen pizza. It may be glorified frozen pizza, but it is still frozen pizza. I have yet to buy one that "tastes like delivery". Papa Murphy's is more expensive than frozen pizza, but definitely comparable to, if not better than, the national chains in price.

Last night, I went to Papa Murphy's. I got a Parmesan Chicken deLite, and a Stuffed Meat pizza. After tax, it was $26.50. Considering how big the pizzas were (The Parmesan Chicken was 14" and the Stuffed Meats was 16"), it was a very reasonable price. Straight out of the store, these pizzas had me salivating.

The Parmesan Chicken deLite had a thin crust, fresh tomatoes, chicken, and spinach, covered with mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. The Stuffed meats had pepperoni, ham, bacon, and sausage on the inside with mozzarella cheese. Then they topped the top crust with beef and a cheese blend. After they wrapped the pizzas in plastic wrap ( with their own convenient paper baking trays) I headed down to the local Home Depot and rented a giant winch to lift those bad boys up, and get them in the car. (Ok, I made the last part up.) I called home, and told my indentured servant (also referred to as a daughter) to put the oven on 425. When I arrived home, both pizzas went in the oven, and 40 minute later, we were eating the type of food that has the power to resolve any conflict.

Admit it! That looks good!

The crust on the deLite was crunchy on the outside, but soft enough underneath to fold the pizza. The crust on the Stuffed Meat...let's just say that I had to get a ladder to see over the edge of that thing.


So! Where's your favorite place to eat pizza? I bet it's not as good as mine. What are your favorite toppings? Have I made you hungry yet? Go ahead. You know you want some. Go pick up a pizza or two, and help promote world peace.

Name That Dish

So...

I was only home from a weekend of camping for a few hours, and already the natives were restless. "What's for supper!?!" This time the native's included a certain young lady's boyfriend. Into the kitchen I go. What will I feed my poor, helpless, little chicks? Hot dogs with mac & cheese? No. Joseph would love it, but no. Should I cook some chicken and have salads? No. Too healthy! Then it hit me. I should introduce Justin (that's the boyfriend) to Jimmy's Test Kitchen. You see, anyone who stays in my house long enough (and he has) get's to become a participant in my test kitchen...whether they want to or not. So, let the testing begin.

Of course, the first step when creating a dish in Jimmy's is to figure out what you have available. The wife says we have to do something with the pack of smoked sausages in the fridge. That certainly made meat selection easy. Then I looked to my left and spotted a bag of potatoes. Things are looking up. Of course I can't just simply do skillet fried potatoes and smoked sausage. That would be too common. Jimmy's Test Kitchen does not do "common". Anyway, I sliced the smoked sausage (ten sausages, if you must know), put a little olive oil in the skillet, pulled out the can of Tony Chachere's, and sprinkled it all over. A few minutes later, I had these tasty little morsels.

Next, I took eight potatoes and diced them. I followed this by mincing two cloves of fresh garlic. I tossed half a stick of butter in the oil and yumminess left over in the skillet from sauteing the sausages, and then tossed in the garlic. After sauteing a bit, I added the potatoes, lightly sprinkled with kosher salt, then heavily coated with Tony C's.

I let that cook for about 15 minutes on med-high, turning occasionally. This got the potatoes just to the point they were starting to soften. Then I tossed in a can of cream of chicken soup, a can of drained black beans, one and a half cans of water, and two tablespoons of ham base. I put the lid on the skillet, and allowed to cook for another ten minutes, stirring occasionally.

Once the dish was finished cooking, I stirred in half a cup of sour cream, and topped with one cups of shredded cheese (I used a fiesta blend, but any good melting cheese would work). Shazam! Dinner is served.

I am happy to report that minutes later, all but a cup of the molten lava pictured above had disappeared. The problem is that here I am, a day later, and I still don't know what to call it. Perhaps some of my readers can help. Come on, folks. Name that dish!

Memphis in May? Nah! It's March, and the Heat is On!

Here's the question. What do you do when it is a beautiful March day that is already promising to be sunny and in the mid eighties? Firstly, you sit there and wonder why it is sunny and in the eighties in March. Then you shrug your shoulders, pull a couple large sources of protein out, and slap them on the barbie. Meet Tom & Porky.

Ready for a day at the spa!

Ok! I know you can't just instantly pull out a couple of large chunks of protein like these. Both of these were taking up precious space in my fridge for days. Let's just call it poetic license and move on, shall we. I have been looking forward to weather like this since the last time I used this grill. That would be November of last year. I usually smoke a turkey for Thanksgiving as my official last act with the large grill. Today was going to be an all day treat, though. I throw these babies on the grill about 9am, and have turkey for lunch and pulled pork for supper. It was certainly going to be a wonderful day.

You might be wondering how I prepared these beauties before putting them on the grill. (I know you're probably not wondering that, but humor me. I don't know why you always feel you have to be so difficult!) I'm a briner. No. I didn't say I was a shriner. I said, "briner". I like to soak big pieces of meat in a brine solution overnight before cooking low and slow. Brine can be as simple as salt and water, or you can add other things to it for flavoring. Brining is a great way to add moisture to a large piece of meat. Whatever flavorings you add to your brining solution will lightly permeate throughout the meat. My brine consisted of salt, water, sugar, apple juice, bay leaves, thyme, and garlic. I put it all in a stock pot, and heated long enough to get the salt and sugar dissolved. Then I put the boston butt and turkey each in a brining bag, and poured half the brine into each bag. Finally, into the fridge they go for the night. The key is that the piece of meat MUST be completely submerged in the brine. The cool thing is that overnight, nature works it's magic and uses the brine to add the maximum amount of moisture each piece of meat can hold, without making the meat taste salty at all.

Most true BBQers would probably gasp at the idea of me brining a boston butt. Most people would put a layer of mustard or oil on the meat, then completely cover in a dry rub, wrap it in plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight. However, I find that brining penetrates the meat and adds flavor much better than the dry rub method. Besides, it really is no different that injecting with liquid just before cooking, which is how most of the pros do it. I do use mustard and dry rub, but only just before smoking begins. You might notice some dark areas under the skin of the turkey. I can't be for sure, since the turkey was already frozen when purchased, but I don't think it was in a bar brawl just before packaging. The darkness is from applying dry rub between the skin and the breast meat. I don't normally do this, but since I had a large batch of rub made, I figured, "Why not?"

About three hours into the smoking, and things were looking really good.

The tears in the turkey skin are due to me loosening it up to put the rub between it and the breast meat. I'm not really worried about it. We won't be eating the skin on this turkey. (By we, I do not include my son Joseph. He actually enjoys eating the skin) When doing a smoked turkey like this, the skin will usually have such an intense smokey flavor, that it borders on acrid. However, it is a worthy sacrifice for the juicy meat being protected inside.

There is probably some purist out there somewhere reading this blog, and preparing to add a comment about the fact I have the temperature probe in the wrong spot. All the cookbooks talk about putting a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh. Do you know what? Every time I do that, I end up with a turkey with a finished thigh, and a pink breast. Therefore, I put the probe in the breast. When it says it has reached the proper temperature, put the probe in the thickest part of the thigh for verification. Sometimes, those purists just need to get a life.

Anyway, another hour later, and my thermometer is beeping. Tom is cooked.

I love the deep red coloring smoking gives the skin

It was hot smoked turkey sandwiches for lunch. Then I had to pull out every weapon in my arsenal to ensure some turkey was left for another meal. Otherwise, Joseph would be going to town on that sucker.


Mystery Question
Here is a question I posted on Facebook. What is pictured below?

There were several neat guesses, but none correct. Are you ready for the answer? Are you sure you can handle the truth? It is smoked salt. The next time you decide to smoke something on the grill, fill a foil tray with kosher salt and set it on the grill as well.

It's like having your own homemade liquid smoke...without the liquid. The smoke will permeate the salt, adding it's flavoring to it. You will need to stir the salt every half hour or so to make sure the smoke hits every piece. If you want to add a slightly smoked flavor to your favorite dish, just add a pinch or two of this salt. It really is like using liquid smoke, but a whole lot cheaper. This works great with hickory. Today I used apple. I love to smoke using hickory, when I am smoking a turkey. However, when I smoke a boston butt, I prefer a fruit wood, such as apple. It imparts a slightly sweeter, less intense flavor to the meat. the fact it is less intense is important, since the boston butt will be on the grill considerably longer

Another five hours later and I was ready to pull the last piece of meat off of the grill. Why does it take so long? Pork is ready to eat at 160 degrees. However, it will not be easy to pull for "pulled pork". For this to happen, the connective tissues and collagen have to break down. This doesn't begin to happen until about 170 degrees, and is completed when the butt is between 190 and 200 degrees. Don't worry. A boston butt has fat marbling all through it. It can handle cooking that slowly, and still be moist. It is important that you only do this with a boston butt, or picnic shoulder. A pork loin is way to lean, and needs to be taken off at the 160 degree point.

The lovely bark you see is the result of the rub and basting with apple juice every hour. I also added another layer of dry rub about two hours before finishing. This made for an extra thick crust bark. When pulling or chopping the pork, do NOT through away the bark. When you pull the pork, the pieces of the bark create little bursts of intense flavor while eating the pork.Trust me on this one. Do NOT through that bark away!

After letting the meat rest for half an hour, the final product looks like this.

Boy howdy! That was good. I am soooooo glad BBQ season is here!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Have You Had Your Cabbage Today?

Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all. I hope God has smiled down on you this day, and perhaps sprinkled you with just a little luck o' the Irish. I love St. Patrick's Day, and have been enamored with all things Irish for many years. Many of you (I use the term "many" very loosely.) will remember a post made a few weeks ago about by dreams to open an Irish-Mexican Pub. Just in case you forgot, here is a link to that post. Please hurry back.

Ok, now that you are done with that little refresher, we can continue. As I was saying, I love St. Patrick's Day, and was determined to cook an authentic Irish meal that definitely included cabbage. I am sure the vast majority of readers' minds are going to corned beef and cabbage. There are two problems with that thought. The first is that corned beef is not Irish. The Irish do not cook corned beef in Ireland, and they certainly don't eat it with corned beef. It is my understanding that in Ireland, cabbage is cooked with bacon. However, it was impossible to get Irish style bacon in the US, so the early immigrants substituted with the next best thing they could find...corned beef. Thus the tradition of corned beef and cabbage began in the US.

The second, and decidedly more important, problem with corned beef is that my wife does not like corned beef. Trust me. No luck o' the Irish can save me from the ire of a red-headed wife. Therefore, corned beef was not to be on the menu this year. What to do?

During my travels across the vast internet I came across a very neat website called the Irish American Mom. If you have even the remotest affinity with things Irish, you must visit this site. WAIT!!!! You must visit the site...but later, please. While visiting the site I saw instructions for cooking cabbage Irish style. Perfect! It involves boiling with some good fatty bacon. Even more perfect! The cabbage question had been solved. Now, what to have with cabbage. I figured if this Irish-American mom knew how to cook cabbage Irish style, she could certainly come up with something for me to have with my cabbage. It took just a wee bit of scrolling down the page and, BINGO! There was a link to something called Irish Guinness Beef Stew. You simply can't go wrong with a hearty beef stew. What person can resist a picture like this?

This woman definitely knows how to use a camera to make people hungry!

Admittedly, it seemed like a rather heavy dish to be cooking when the temperature is already in the eighties. However, the calendar says it is still officially winter for a few days, so we are having beef stew, by gosh. Upon first inspection, this recipe did not seem all that different from any standard beef stew. However, the very name of the recipe slaps you in the face with one major difference. Guinness. No drink says "Ireland" quite like Guinness. This recipe called for a bottle of Guinness Stout. A stout is a good dark beer that usually has a particularly creamy head on it that will grow like "The Blob" if you pour it too quickly. In all honesty, I had never had a stout before finding this recipe. There was no way I could use it in a recipe without trying it first. Unfortunately, none of the stores immediately close to me sell Guinness Stout in a single bottle. I was definitely not going to buy a six pack of something I could potentially detest. That's when Kathy comes to my rescue. Kathy is a co-worker who has also been a wonderful friend to my family for close to twenty years. She also happens to have a fondness for beer. Stop thinking those thoughts! I am not implying she is a lush. Far from it. However, she does enjoy a good beer, kinda like a wine taster enjoys a good wine. Anyway, she was kind enough to bring me two different stouts to try. Neither was Irish, but this should be a good enough taste test. Stout proved to be the perfect accompaniment to a Berry-Cherry pie.

Before you begin to wonder if this blog is about food or alcohol, let me get on with the story. The other surprising difference between this stew recipe and the standards is dark chocolate. I know that may sound strange, but it is actually used quite a bit...in Mexican cooking. The idea behind it's use in this recipe is that a small amount of dark chocolate will cut the bitterness of the Guinness stout.

As usual, I don't always follow rules when cooking. I did with the cabbage, but I just couldn't with the stew. I promise I didn't change it too much. Also, you need to remember that in one of my earliest posts I encouraged the idea of taking a recipe and changing it to make it your own. My change was minor, and had more to do with money than anything else. I still was not ready to buy an entire six pack of Guinness. I still had one stout left from the Kathy taste test. This one just happened to be a Young's Double Chocolate Stout. Cool! I could kill two birds with one stone. My stout already has chocolate in it.

However, this just proved to find me facing a new dilemma. This was a "moral" dilemma. I am using an American stout. Can I really call this an Irish stew? I run to the dining room and grab my bottle of Jameson. I pour 1/4 cup of this fine Irish Whiskey into my stew. Problem solved.

This stew has to simmer for twelve hours in a slow cooker. I started it just before going to bed, and woke up to a wonderful aroma on St. Patrick's Day. By noon, the perfect St. Patrick's Day meal was ready. With the first bite, I knew I was going to be blessed with more than just a touch of the luck o' the Irish.

See all of that juice? That's what the roll is for. Yummy!!

What lessons did I learn from this meal? That stew is awesome! I certainly feel that a double chocolate stout is a perfect substitution for a regular Guinness stout and some dark chocolate. Unless you just have to have something "Irish" in the stew, forget the Jameson. It certainly did not ruin anything. However, I really can't say it helped anything either...other than my conscience.

We really enjoyed the cabbage. I just happen to have an entire family of cabbage lovers. However, I didn't taste as much of a bacon flavor as I was expecting. I guess, if I know bacon is in a recipe, I want to be able to taste it. While the cabbage was great, I really could not detect the bacon. No problem. I think I will make "Southern Irish Cabbage." That just means I am going to be using a good slab of hog jowl bacon. If anything can impart a bacon flavor, hog jowl can.

Anyway, I would like to thank Irish American Mom for making this St. Patrick's Day a huge success. One more thing added to the fun of the day. The previous night, I was working on my genealogy on the laptop. Suddenly, it popped up. I almost missed it, but there it was. My great great grandmother, was born in Ireland in 1833. Now, that makes for a happy St. Patrick's Day!

Look, Ma! No Microwave!

Does anyone have a cow for sale? Apparently, it has gotten to the point that it would be more economical than buying from the grocery store. Neva even questioned if we should start buying milk two gallons at a time. Perhaps two cows for sale?

Just this afternoon, Joseph came up to me and asked if he could have a glass of vanilla wafers and milk. He is definitely his mother's child. Sometimes, I wonder if they both wouldn't mind trying to survive on vanilla wafers and milk. Now, I'm not talking about a bowl of wafers and a glass of milk. I'm talking the largest honking glass you can find, stuffed with vanilla wafers and milk. In an effort to save the bovine population from stress caused by over milking, I told Joseph, "No." That went over just as well as "I need you to change the cat litter today."

I started feeling a little guilty. After all, he is a growing boy. Just ask Norfolk shipyard. That's where we're going to be buying his shoes soon. There had to be something I could let him have for snack that would be satisfying, without causing some poor cow to be so sore she wished she had been born a bull.

Popcorn!

You know, those hard little seeds that come right off the stalk, already sealed in paper bags, ready to stick in the microwave. We all have fond memories of standing around the microwave, eagerly anticipating that first POP!  What has this world come to? How could any memory of standing around a microwave be considered fond. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against microwaves. I find them to be indispensable. However useful they are though, I can't say one has ever evoked memories of the fond variety. My memories actually involve a black popcorn kettle and a hot stove.

It just so happened that Grandma Judi, from Pueblo, CO, sent us a whole bag of home grown popcorn. There's another conundrum. I've been to Pueblo. It's kinda barren. Not exactly where you would expect to find anything labeled as home grown. Nevertheless, that is exactly what I received; home grown popcorn. Guess what!?! This popcorn was not sealed in a paper bag, and something tells me that a microwave would have only crisped those little seeds up. It also just so happened that when Grandma (Linda, not Judi) let us move into the big house, it came completely stocked with the black popcorn kettle I really do have fond memories of. It was a special kettle made in celebration of the bicentennial celebration of the USA. In addition, the house also came stocked with a bag of Trails End brand popcorn (Yep! The same popcorn sold by the Boy Scouts. Joseph will be hitting all you readers up in the fall.). Cool, surely it will have instructions for cooking popcorn on the stove top. Place 1/4 cup oil in the pan. Good so far. Pour the popcorn in the pan so it makes a single layer across the entire bottom. Ok. So, how much popcorn is that? Huh. Anyway, I put half a stick of butter in the pan. I don't want oiled popcorn, I want buttered. I get it all good and melted. I still haven't figured out how much popcorn to use. I get out my cup measure, fill it with popcorn kernels, and start to pour...and pour...and pour. What do you know? It takes a whole cup to cover the bottom of this kettle with popcorn kernels.

The lid goes on, the stove is at medium-high, and I stir...and I stir...and I stir...and I stir...

Now that fond memory is coming back. How long do I have to stir this ^%# thing! Wait! I hear something. It is the sound of...

Sizzling! Oh great! I'm frying my popcorn. Not knowing what I've gotten myself into, I sure am glad I did not inform anyone about what I was doing.

POP!

Oh my gosh! Was that actually a pop I heard?

POP!

There it goes again!

POP! POP!

I'm getting so excited, I could almost...suffice it to say, I'm excited. Before I could blink an eye, the popping started in earnest. Hundreds of little explosions were occurring on top of my stove. Suddenly, I could no longer turn the stirring paddle. The lid began to rise. The popping continued. White fluffy kernels of popcorn appeared in the top of the kettle. Then they flowed out...as they continued popping. Oh, ^%$! Popcorn is going everywhere! It is now under the burner, creating little bonfires. It is all over the stove, and still popping! I pull the kettle off of the stove. Finally! I hear signs of the popping slowing down. I pour what did not go all over the kitchen into two large bowls. One bowl goes to Joseph. The other goes to me...to hold while Grandma enjoys it. After Grandma leaves (She was admiring Sissy's prom dress), Sissy decides she wants some popcorn.

Note to self, one cup of kernels is WAAAAY too much. This time, we go with half a cup. Perfection! Two more bowls of popcorn. One goes to Sissy, and one goes to Joseph. The boy has no idea how regular he is going to be later in the evening.

"Dear," a voice says, ever so sweetly, from the living room. "May I have some popcorn?" Gotta keep the wife happy. The popcorn kettle gives birth to a third batch of popcorn. Talk about being shocked! That poor kettle sat idle on a shelf for who knows how many years, then gets use three times in one day.

So. Another fond memory was created today. And once again, it did NOT involve a microwave.

Fresh popcorn! No microwave required.

Greatings from Cancun, Ireland. Huh?

So...I've had a dream for quite a while. I often sit and daydream (Not at work! Really!) about one day opening an Irish pub. My brother's rolling his eyes right now. He just doesn't understand why I have a fascination with Ireland, and all things Irish (whiskey in particular) when he's traced us back to Scottish ancestry. I can't explain it, but I am positive there is a leprechaun somewhere in my family tree. Anyway, as I was saying, I've dreamed of owning an Irish pub. It would be complete with dark wood, a couple dartboards that look like they've been around since time in memorial, a kitchen cooking up bangers 'n mash, and a bar serving up Guiness, Murphy's, and shots of Jameson. Conjures up nice pictures in the mind, doesn't it?
There's a problem with my dream. In my dream, right next to those shots of Jameson are shots of Patrón (Tequila, that is). No self respecting Irish pub would sell tequila...would they? None of the Irish pubs I've been in have. Okay, admittedly, I've never set foot in a real Irish pub, but this is my blog. So, stuffit!
Anyway, as I was saying, no self respecting Irish pub would be serving tequila shots. What to do? What to do? Suddenly, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. When I looked to my side, what did appear? Twas a wee little man with a fluffy red beard...and sombrero.

"Who needs self respect?" he said to me with a big grin. "Serve them both!"

"What!?!" I replied incredulously. (Remember, this my dream.)

"You heard me right. Serve them both! And, if you really want to screw with their minds, serve both kinds of food."
This guy was totally brilliant! Nothing says "Authentic Irish Pub" more than Chile Rellenos and enchiladas.

"Or," he said, as we wrung his hands together, and chuckled an evil little laugh, "you can mix them."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yeesssssss!"

"What would I serve? Corned beef enchiladas? Molé and Mash?"

"Faith and Begorrah! I can see this is going to be a long night. Perhaps you should ponder this a wee bit before coming to any decisions"

With that he turned, and started to fade away. "Wait!"

"Aye, me boy. What might you be wantin' now?"

"I don't even know your name," I replied.

"O'Shea...José O'Shea!"

With a tip of the sombrero he disappeared.

Henceforth my pub shall be called José O'Shea's. I think it just might be the world's first authentic Irish/Mexican restaurant. Of course, I still don't know the menu, but I'm sure some of my readers will be full of ideas. I figure my menu can be in three sections: José (Mexican), O'Shea (Irish), and All the Way (I think you can guess.) Go ahead and consider this an interactive blog entry. Tell me what food combinations you think would make a good All the Way menu. Maybe I will try some and post the results. Maybe.

I do know one thing that will be on the menu. José O'Shea's World Famous Green Chili. That's what I entered today in my company's first annual Chili Gas...oops...Cook Off. Unfortunately, I can't call it "championship" because I had to settle for second place. I'm certainly not going to call it José O'Shea's World Famous Second Place Chili! It's all the fault of that Paula girl. She just had to make two chili's and win third and first place. On top of that, she's the one who tallied the votes! There's something fishy in Denmark. Sorry, we're talking Ireland and Mexico, aren't we? Really, Paula's a real sweet person, and would never cheat me out of anything. If I had to lose to anyone, I would rather it be her.

THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP! YOU'RE GOING DOWN NEXT TIME, PAULA DENBOW! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!

Oh dear! I just don't know what came over me. If you haven't ever had green chili, prepare yourself. It is nothing like regular chili. But, that's not a bad thing. It's a delectable treat created from a cornucopia of God's good bounty.

You're looking at Chili Poblanos, yellow sweet peppers, jalapenos, onions, and tomatillos. Tomateewhats? Tomatillos. Those are those little round things in the nasty brown paper skins. You find them in the store with the tomatoes. Guess what? They're not even remotely related to tomatoes. When you peel the brown "wrappers" off, they look and taste like little green tomatoes. They are actually a berry though. In fact, they are related to gooseberries. Go figure.

Anyway, I took those deliciously fresh veggies, and combined them with garlic, chicken stock, three pounds of chicken, and a secret blend of herbs and spices, and Shazam!

Geez! Can you guess why it's called green chili? You ladle it over a bed of rice, and top it with a dollop of sour cream, or Greek yoghurt (Uh Oh! Now it's an Irish/Mexican/Greek pub!), and you have a wonderful concoction of peppery goodness. I'd give you the recipe, but then I'd have to kill you. I can't be giving away top secret recipes from my restaurant. Can I!?!

Anyway, we have one menu item down. We're hardly done yet, troops. Give me some help. I'm waiting with baited breath! (That could be from the eleven varieties of chili I ate this afternoon. Sorry!)