Smokey says, "Only you can prevent grill fires!"

So...let me explain that cryptic title. You might remember that with my last post I had just finished cooking ribs. One of the side effects of slow smoking ribs is very fatty and sugary drippings. Just keep that in mind.

The other day, we decided to have some leg and thigh quarters, cooked on the grill. Those were quickly becoming one of our favorite things to cook on the Sawtooth. For one thing, it just about takes an act of God (or stupidity) to dry out leg and thigh quarters. You are almost 100% guaranteed juicy chicken. Quarters are one of the absolute least expensive cuts of any type of meat you can purchase for grilling. I like to have the butcher season my quarters before purchasing. That allows the seasoning plenty of time to get into the meat. This last time, I had him use lemon pepper seasoning, and boy did he ever. I almost had to look twice to make sure there really was chicken under all of that seasoning.

One of my fondest memories of childhood was my Grandpa's barbecued chicken. His chicken was not covered in a sloppy sweet barbecue sauce. Instead, it was really grilled chicken that he would baste with a special sauce that contained lemon, butter, and other ingredients. I say, "other ingredients" because I truly don't know what the other ingredients were. I have learned to make my own baste, using a stick of margarine, a whole lemon (or a quarter cup lemon juice), a quarter cup red wine vinegar, a couple tablespoons of light soy sauce, some Greek seasoning, and a cup of water. I let all of it come to a boil, then remove it from the heat.

So...back to my story. I took the chicken and placed it on the grill, skin side down, and basted it. All was looking good.

About 15-20 minutes later, I checked the chicken again, and rebasted. That's when things fell apart. I went into the kitchen and started having a pleasant conversation with the wife. (They really do seem to pop up a lot in stories of male goof-ups, and they usually end up looking much smarter.) Well, it just so happened to be one of those rare golden moments when the kids were in the living room...actually getting along...and we were getting deeper and deeper into our conversation. Then I sniffed the air. Hmmm. I shouldn't be smelling that type of odor. That does not smell like chicken slowly cooking on a "non-flare-up" wood pellet grill. I looked out the back door. To my wondering eyes appeared a thick envelope of smoke with bright orange flames just to the right. I ran outside, and...well...let's just say I did not have one of my more glorious moments of self control. The bad news is that a whole lotta Hail Mary's are going to be needed to fully recover. The good news is that my creative side came up with a whole slew of new adjectives to properly describe how I was feeling at the moment. Anyway, after this rather embarrassing moment ended with a pitcher of water tossed on the grill, I was left with the following result.

Chicken, anyone?

I guess it "no flare-ups" only applies if you change the foil after cooking greasy, sugary ribs on your grill. Who knew? Anyway, we did actually have chicken that night. With the fire extinguished, I continued to grill and baste the chicken. Remember, earlier I told you it just about takes an act of God to dry out leg and thigh quarters. Fortunately, He took pity on me. After removing the burned skin, there was actually some very tasty chicken underneath. I even managed to pull one more triumph from the jaws of this disaster. A few nights later, I took the three uneaten quarters, and turned them into one of the best tasting chicken gumbos to have ever passed between my lips!

Yes, Virginia! Miracles do happen...even for grown men who make stupid mistakes at the grill.

Update: I really should read my own blog more often. Apparently, I never did write a blog about my ribs...I just ate 'em and left it at that!

What do you get when you cross a proper Brit with a Rajun Cajun?

You get Yorkshire Jambalaya Pie.

Now, let me explain. I was visiting one of my favorite websites the other day: www.irishamericanmom.com. This website has some of the best Irish recipes. I found one that I was wanting to give a try. Yorkshire Pudding. At the same time, I have had a craving for some of the foods that are considered more cool weather comfort foods, such as chili and chicken pot pie. The recipe for the yokshire pudding called for it to be made in muffin tins. However, it mentioned that it was originally baked in a single dish. The picture associated with this recipe showed some super fluffy, muffin type morsels. I thought to myself, this looks like it would make a good light and fluffy top to a chicken pot pie.

So...the plans were to make a Yorkshire Pot Pie. When I am making a new creation, I sometimes go on a tangent that takes me down a completely different path. I pulled some chicken breasts out of the freezer, and saw a smoked sausage. I thought to myself, "That sausage looks like it would be really tastey, cubbed up and placed in my pot pie. I got some flour, salt, pepper, and thyme and mixed it all up. I then poured my flour mixture in a gallon freezer bag, and tossed cubed chicken breast in it. While doing this, I thought about the veggies that would go in my pot pie. I had all sorts of dried veggies, and I started thinking that I would like to use those in my pie, instead of just opening a can or two of veg-all. While I was frying my chicken and sausage in one pan. I was boiling dried carrots, green and red peppers, onions, and diced tomatoes in another pan with some of my home made turkey stock.

Once the meat was thoroughly cooked through, I poured in the reconstituted veggies and stock. I then added milk, and a couple heaping tablespoons of Greek yogurt. I also added some Tony Cachere's creole seasoning, garlic powder, and just a little salt and pepper. Once thickened, I poured into my lasagna pan and covered with the yorkshire pudding batter. It baked at 425 for thirty minutes, then got brushed with melted butter and sprinkled with kosher salt and cracked black pepper, and tossed under the broiler until golden brown. The result came out looking pretty spectacular.

This was no ordinary chicken pot pie. It definitely had a Louisiana flavor to it. Thus the Yorkshire Jambalaya Pie was born. The way that pan was left without a scrap in sight, I have a funny feeling this pie is going to reborn multiple times. Who knew a Brit and a Cajun could make such a beautiful child?  ;-)

The Turkey in the Straw Has Come to Call

Those of you who have just recovered from your heart attacks that were induced by two blog entries in one week, might need to take some preventative measures. Here's the third entry. Two entries ago, I promised a smoked turkey on my new Sawtooth wood pellet grill. It has taken a bit, but here we go. This little write up should remain relatively short in comparison to most of my other ramblings. That's because of the nice little video surprise at the end of the entry. You heard me right! A video! Now, who can say I don't treat my readers right. I must warn you, though. There is some nudity in the video. That's probably going to make you skip the rest of this blathering and head straight there.

If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, or you have read previous blog entries, you know that one of my favorite activities is smoking turkeys. In fact, it has been several years since a turkey has actually graced my oven. In the past, I always smoked my turkeys on a large charcoal grill that had a side fire box. This allows for proper smoking with the indirect heat method. As you may remember from my previous post about smoking a turkey, the skin becomes a dark, almost mahogany, color. This is due to the massive amounts of smoke produced by throwing chunks of hickory in the side fire box. While this produces a turkey with an absolutely mouth watering smoked taste, it also produces a skin that is beautiful to look at, but only palatable to the few with cast iron stomachs, like my son. It is common knowledge that the skin is sacrificed for the flavor in the meat when using this method of smoking.

Wood pellet grills use what I would call a semi-indirect method of smoking. The fire pot is inside the grill, instead of outside. This puts the heat source closer to the meat. However, the drip/flavorizer pan prevents any flames from being able to reach whatever food items are on the grill. Also, instead of wood chunks that burn very slowly, wood pellet grills use...well, wood pellets. These burn at a somewhat faster rate, even on the low "smoke" setting. Therefore, the amount of smoke produced is sufficient for creating that smoked flavor, but nowhere near the amount that is produced in the traditional method. This could be good, or bad, depending on who you ask. Some people absolutely crave that super strong smoked flavor that comes off a traditional smoker. However, some people want a milder smoked flavor, and dearly wish to eat a super crunchy turkey skin. That is what you get with a wood pellet grill; a milder (but definitely present) smoked flavor, and crunchy, yummy, skin.

I usually brine my turkeys. The master BBQers will tell you to never brine a turkey from the supermarket, because it has already been injected with a broth or salt water solution. That may be the case, but they are still as bland a shoe leather. I have never had a brined turkey that turned out too salty. However, I chose a completely different method of keeping my turkey moist this time. I had a bottle of Tony Cachere's Roasted Garlic and Herb marinade. I injected that marinade ALL over the turkey. Wow! I mean, Wow! Between that marinade and the crispy skin on the turkey...I don't know if you could get any closer to heaven without actually being there. The turkey was so juicy. Since it was roasted garlic, the garlic flavor was mild. It was definitely there, but not in an overpowering way. See how I did the wings in the picture above? I learned to tuck them under the bird. This keeps them from flopping, and makes the bird more stable. The cool thing is that all the sugars in the marinade and rub collected at the bottom of the turkey. Those sugars, along with the natural sugars in the skin were in direct contact with the grill, creating a wonderful caramelization. Eating parts of the chicken wing meat and skin was literally like eating candy. I do think it just about got Neva speaking in tongues.

I promised a short blog, and here we are. It's only four paragraphs. Ok! They were long paragraphs. A little about the video below. It is a short "How-to" video on smoking a turkey on a wood pellet grill. It is my first instructional video, so I do realize some of the tips could have been slowed down a bit for those who aren't speed readers. Sorry. This was Christina's first time as a camera man(woman). Some of the footage is slightly out of focus, but I think she did a whizbang job for her first time. Thanks, Christina. I hope you enjoy this.

Enjoy!

Move over, Ruth's Chris. There's a new joint in town!

Anybody who reads my blog regularly, and knows who Ruth's Chris is, is probably wondering what this entry has to do with smoked turkey. It is true that my famous last words were, "Next up, smoked turkey." Okay, they really were "Y'all come back soon!', but I'm hoping you won't mind me taking a little artistic license with what were really the next to last words. I'm also hoping you won't mind this little detour into the land of beef, while we are on the way to turkey.

Anywho! I digress. For those who don't know, Ruth's Chris is a chain of very highfalutin steak houses. It's one of those restaurants where you have to take out a mortgage for a meal that will have you swearing you are sitting at the great banquet table on high. The worst part is that you will feel it was worth every penny...as you tuck yourself into your brand new cardboard box for the night.

We don't eat steak often at our house. It's not that we don't like it. I think my above description of Ruth's Chris pretty much puts that fallacy to rest. There are a few reasons. After years of trying (not too successfully, I might add) to eat healthy, and focus more on poultry, fish, and pork, my stomach has become pretty sensitive to beef. Please don't force me to go into detail. Now, I'm one of the lucky one's who takes one of those daily stomach pills, which also takes care of the sensitivity to beef. The main reason, we don't eat steaks much is price. Once you've been spoiled by the best, you just don't want to go home with one of those scrawny little supermarket steaks. Especially, since even the cheap paper thin steaks cost an arm and a leg...AND I have to buy two family packs because I have a family of four, and the supermarket (whom shall remain nameless...KROGER) thinks every family unit contains three members. Now, if the cheap steaks that are cut so thin that they almost classify as carpaccio, are expensive, just imagine how much the good ones cost!

Like I said. We don't eat steak often at our house. Imagine my surprise when I was walking by the meat clearance section of that nameless supermarket, and I happened upon a pack of four (Not three!!) 11oz ribeye steaks. These things were absolutely gorgeous, and were begging me to take them home. $26 is a lot to spend for one pack of meat, but that really only comes to $6.50 per 11oz steak. You can't get that type of price on a ribeye at your cheap gristle and chicken restaurants. Besides, I had this wonderful new wood pellet grill being delivered that needed to be properly tested. Into the basket the steaks went...after a few minutes of begging with the wife.

This was going to be a good test. One of the chief complaints about wood pellet grills is, while they do an excellent job at low and slow cooking, they just don't get hot enough to provide a proper sear to a steak. What is so important about a sear? On a piece of meat that is going to be cooked at a high temperature, and can quickly lose it's precious juices, searing is needed to basically "cauterize" the wounded flesh. Sounds kinda gross, but that really is what searing does. It cauterizes the meat, and locks in the juices. Anyone who has had the misfortune of eating a dry steak can attest to just how important that is.

One of the reasons I purchased a Sawtooth pellet grill, is because Doug (remember him from my previous post?) promised me it would get hot enough to sear. That means it had to reach a minimum temperature of 450 degrees, preferably 500 degrees or higher. When I was ready to cook, the temp gauge was reading just above 450. I remembered that on a previous test the surface temperature proved to be about 20 degrees hotter that the top of the dome, where the temp gauge is. It is quite possible the grill could have gotten hotter, but I was satisfied with 500. I wanted to sear...not burn.

My first test was to be a grilled summer salad. What!?! You heard me correctly. It is amazing how much the flavor profile of a standard green salad changes when you grill it. I took thick 1/2 inch slices of red onion, brushed them with olive oil, and sprinkled both sides with kosher salt and fresh ground pepper. I then placed those onion slices on the grill. After 8-10 minutes, I flipped them over for another 8-10 minutes. I also cut some romaine hearts in half, lengthwise, and brushed the flat surface with olive oil, followed by a sprinkling of kosher salt. During the last two minutes of cooking for the onions, I placed the romaine on the grill, flat side facing down. Two minutes at high heat was just enough to provide a little char on the surface of the lettuce, without completely wilting it.

Take the lettuce and onions, give them a rough chop, mix in some grape tomatoes, then drizzle with a small amount of your favorite salad dressing. Joseph and I like to make dill pickles in the summer. Our favorite dressing is a simple mixture of the leftover pickle juice from a jar of pickles, mixed with enough mayonnaise to just about fill the pint jar. The final grilled summer salad is below. Please excuse the bluriness, I was in lala land, and didn't notice that I still had the camera on manual focus.

Next up...the whole reason for cranking up the grill this night. I had just slathered the steaks in a mixture of oil and butter. The butter adds flavor, and the oil both helps the kosher salt to stick, as well as allowing the surface of the steak to get even hotter. Just before slapping the steaks on the grill, I sprinkled one side liberally with kosher salt. Since kosher salt granules are larger, they don't dissolve in liquid as easily as regular table salt. This ensures little bursts of flavor as you are eating your steak. I honestly feel that a properly salted and peppered steak NEVER needs steak sauce. While you don't want to pour the entire salt mine on the steak, you do want to be liberal with the salt, as much of it will fall off in the grill. I placed the steaks on the grill grates salted side down, then proceeded to salt the other side. I closed the lid, then after two minutes, I turned the steaks a quarter turn, and cooked for another four minutes. I then gently flipped the steaks, and cooked them for another four minutes on the other side. After pulling the steaks off the grill, I placed them in a dish and covered with foil, so they could rest while we ate our salads. When it came time to eat our steaks, all four of us had juicy medium-rare steaks...just the way we like them!.

While eating our steaks, I did make the comment that while seared properly, the grill grates that came with the Sawtooth grill did not produce proper grill marks. I believe the response I got from Joseph was, "Who cares!?! These are good!" I think that's what he said as he continued to stuff meat into his mouth.

Next year I might invest in a set of GrillGrates. These are a set of grill grates that can either rest on top of your current ones, or replace them. They provide the same type of "infrared" grilling that Charbroil is providing on their newer grills. It is supposed to be an excellent way of searing, and providing those beloved grill marks. Then again, maybe not. After all, who can argue with...

"Who cares!?! These are good!"

Finally! It's Time For Some Grillin' And Some Chillin'!

I know! I hear you loud and clear! Grillin' and Chillin' time started waaaaay before the middle of August. The problem is that I'm lazy. There. I said it. I'm lazy. My gas grill burners and flavorizors rusted out a while back. On top of that, my propane ran out. What can I say? It was going to cost almost as much to replace the parts as it would to buy a new basic gas grill. I haven't been totally without a grill. I have my Chargriller Super Smoker Pro. However, that sucker is big, and kind of a pain to get going just to do a quick dinner for four. Now the other day, I had eight leg and thigh quarters to cook. The Chargriller was perfect for that. I had enough space to cook the quarters, and enough space for a cool zone, in case of flare-ups. In addition, it is perfect for smoking turkeys, ribs, and pork shoulders. After all, that is why I got it.

However, I was really beginning to miss going out on the back deck and cranking up the grill for a nice easy dinner. I have to be honest. Laziness wasn't the only reason for not replacing the gas grill. The other was that a gas grill wasn't what I was really wanting. My brother had been trying to talk me into getting a wood pellet grill. They aren't cheap, though. Finally, the right set of circumstances fell in place, and I was ready to get one. Of course, this long wait had given me the opportunity to do a lot of research on wood pellet grills. For looks, there are two basic types of wood pellet grills. You have your barrel grills, like Traegers,
Brinkmanns, and some Louisiana grills, and you have the style that looks more like your typical gas grill. Looks (as well as space) were important to me, since this grill would be on display on my deck. I heard one main complaint about the barrel grills. They all seemed to have a hard time getting to the high 450 degree and above temperatures needed for searing foods. Another problem was build quality. Apparently, Traeger recently moved production of their grills to China, and quality seems to have suffered. I don't know where the Brinkmann wood pellet grill is made, but I was seeing reviews for it that were so-so at best. The Louisiana grills do seem to have a devoted following, but I decided I wanted a look more modern.

If you go with the modern look you have choices between such brands as Mak, Yoder, and Memphis Grills. All are excellent quality brands, with prices to match (I'm talking thousands of dollars. Yikes!!!!!) Then, one day, I ran across a brand I had never heard before. Sawtooth Pellet Grills. I emailed the company, and got a reply from Doug. Poor Doug. I doubt he ever got bombarded by so may question filled emails about the products he sells. To make a long story short (in case some of you readers are still awake at this point) I found out the following. Sawtooth pellet grills are made in Star, Idaho. This is a definite plus for those looking to buy American. Another plus is that is is made of 16 gauge steel. This is important, because the thicker the gauge of steel, the easier it will be to retain and regulate the heat in the grill. 16 gauge was the highest I found of any grills. The Sawtooth grills use the same controls as the Louisiana grills. This control is a nice compromise between the simple controls with Low/Medium/High settings, and those that are digitally controlled. While the Sawtooth controls don't give quite the precision of a digital control, it does have nineteen different steps between Low/Smoke and High. It also has a Prime button, which is great for adding a little more fuel to the fire to make recovery from opening the lid faster.

Sold!

Sawtooth grills come in two models, SPG-400 and SPG-600. The number in the model denotes the approximate amount of grill surface. The SPG-400 has 440 square inches of grilling surface. Each size is sold in two packages. The basic package is the grill only. The Extra package includes front and side shelves, and a grill cover. I chose the basic package. I can add shelves later, if I really need them, and I can get a good grill cover at the local hardware store. After waiting on pins and needles, my baby (Excuse me, Dear. Our baby) arrived. Two hours after I got home, with the help of my son and Christina's boyfriend, I had the handsome beast below.

In case you are wondering, that giant black box with the glowing blue light is the wood pellet hopper. Instead of propane or charcoal, this grill uses pellets made of compressed hardwoods. Don't let the extension cord fool you into thinking this is just an electric grill. It actually uses very little power. The grill has an auger that turns and feeds the wood pellets into a small burn pot. It then electrically ignites the wood pellets, starting a small, but intense fire. From that point on, the only power used is what is needed to turn the auger, and a small fan that keeps the fire fed with oxygen, and also helps keep the electronics from overheating. The grill regulates the temperature by adjusting how fast the wood pellets are fed into the burn pot.

Choosing wood pellets can be almost as confusing as choosing a grill. Some wood pellets are simply oak or alder that is treated with "flavoring" oils. This does help keep the cost of the pellets down, but it also imparts very little wood flavor into the food, and leaves more ash residue to clean up. After all, the oil adds moisture to the pellets. Some pellets are made from 100% of the wood it claims to be, such as hickory, mesquite, cherry, or maple. This is great for imparting that authentic taste, but it also adds somewhat to the cost of the pellets, and gives the griller more to remember when grilling. Different woods burn at different rates and temperatures. I chose pellets from CookingPellets.com. These folks only sell two types of wood pellets. You can choose from 100% hickory pellets, or their Perfect Mix. The Perfect Mix is a blend of hickory, cherry, hard maple, and apple. They claim it provides the perfectly balanced smoke flavor. I am certainly going to have fun testing that claim.

It was almost 8pm before we finished building the grill. If I was going to christen it that evening, I was going to have to choose something fairly quick cooking. Smoked sausages! I'll tell you a little secret. Kroger sells there Kroger Value smoked sausages in packs of sixteen for the same price the other brands are selling packs of five. Before you wrinkle your nose, consider this. They are massive compared to most other brands, and they are made for Kroger by John Morrell. Trust me, when I tell you that you won't be disappointed. We certainly weren't.

Take note of the cooking grates. They are flat stainless steel grates with slits cut out. The jury is still out on these. I have a feeling they are not going to be good for leaving grill marks on things like steaks. However, the next night's meal proved that they are ideal for grilling thin vegetables without the usual sacrificial pieces.

Friday night was special for Neva and I. Joseph left for a troop campout, and Christina and Justin (her boyfriend) were at the drag races. I was determined that we were going to have a special super. Trust me. I will be finding many reasons to grill and justify this purchase. I went to Kroger and picked up a bundle of fresh asparagus, two baking potatoes, and some southwestern stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in bacon. The chicken breasts were stuffed with roasted red sweet peppers, a very small amount of chipotles , and Monterey Jack & Cheddar cheeses.

I cooked the potatoes and stuffed chicken breasts on the grill at 375 degrees for about 45 minutes. While they were cooking, I took the asparagus and snapped off the tough ends. I then mixed 1/4 cup olive oil, the zest and juice of one lemon, and three cloves of minced garlic. I then poured the mixture over the asparagus, sprinkled with kosher salt, and tossed until all of the spears were well coated.

During the last fifteen minutes of grilling, I put the asparagus on the grill, turning it halfway through the cooking. The resulting dinner is displayed below.

I love this grill!

Next up, smoked turkey. Y'all come back soon!

What do you call a heart attack smothered in clogged arteries? A good southern breakfast!

Don't you just love southern cooking? If you really think about it, good southern cooking is really just a method for killing people...all while leaving a gigantic smile on their mouths. I do my best to make things healthy. I try to ensure each meal has at least one vegetable that has not been deep fried. I also try to stick with the leaner cuts of meat whenever possible. Unfortunately, no matter how healthy one tries to be, the subtle call of a southern breakfast can't be resisted. Every now and then, one must succumb to the cries of the biscuits and gravy.

One of those days happened to be this past Saturday. I had a hankering for a good southern breakfast. In fact, that hankering started the night before, so I was actually able to plan for it. In my mind I saw a plate full of biscuits smothered in sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, buttered grits, and hash brown potatoes. Didn't have any grits in the pantry. Scratch those, I soon discovered I was in the same world of hurt regarding my breakfast sausage. Wait a minute, though. I remembered a pound of ground pork in the freezer. I decided that I needed homemade sausage. Homemade pork sausage can be wonderful. The thing is you have to be very careful about how much sage you use. The tendency is to use a lot. However, it is very easy to overwhelm the rest of the flavors with the taste of sage. If you use too much sage, you will end up with sausage that has somewhat of a musty earthy aftertaste. Anyway, I mixed the seasonings into the pork on Friday night, and put the mixture in the fridge to meld the flavors overnight.

The first task on Saturday morning is biscuits. I will admit, I am just as finicky about my biscuits as I am about cornbread. It doesn't take much for me to deem a biscuit a total failure. When looking for a biscuit recipe, I am always looking for something crusty, but not too crunchy,  I want a pillowy soft interior to this biscuit. A good sign of a pillowy interior is a biscuit that has risen high. In my search for the perfect biscuit, I came across a recipe for cracked black pepper biscuits from Bobby Flay. You can find the recipe at the Food Network site. Of course, I had to make a few modification. I took off the black pepper. Not once have I ever had black pepper on the tops of my biscuits. No black pepper. Bobby calls for twelve tablespoons of unsalted butter. Personally, I am a shortening fan. Finally, Bobby wanted me to brush the biscuits with cream before placing in the oven. Cream aint cheep. Milk worked just fine. In fact, those were some downright tasty biscuits. They were definitely fluffy.

That funny shaped biscuit in the middle is Neva's special biscuit. I always have a scrap of dough left. Usually, it is just big enough for one more biscuit. Rather than rolling and cutting out, I just shape it by hand. Nobody (and I do mean nobody) is allowed to eat that biscuit but my lovely wife.

All that was left was to make the sausage gravy and other breakfast items. In the end, I ended up only fixing the gravy and some hash brown potatoes. I decided we really didn't need eggs too. I would like to think I was being health conscious.  After all, while eating my scrumptious breakfast, I only felt one artery harden. That has to be an improvement. I sure hope going back for seconds and thirds don't count against me.

Hello Muddah! Hello Faddah! Here I am at...

I know. The title has you wondering how that can lead into a blog entry about food. It's a stretch, but bear with me. You see, I just returned from a week at summer camp. Still wondering where I'm taking this?

This year I went to summer camp with Joseph's Boy Scout troop. It was a looong trip from Memphis to Camp Rainey Mountain, just outside of Clayton, GA. As I was preparing for this trip to Georgia, I decided to reminisce a little. You see, I've been involved in scouting for quite some time. With the exception of a 12 year period before my son was old enough to join, I have been active in the Boy Scouts since I first joined as a cub in 1977. The amazing thing though, is this was going to be my first summer camp trip since 1986, the last year I served on summer camp staff.

Often, some of the greatest camp stories involve food. As I stated above, I decided to reminisce about my summer camp experiences growing up. Surely I could remember some great stories involving eating at summer camp. After all, I had attended summer camps in Alabama, New York, Italy, Greece, and Germany. So I thought...and thought...and thought. Nada! Zip! Zilch! That's what I had stored in the summer camp food memory drawer. Can you believe that? All those places, and I couldn't remember one thing about what I ate. That was strange. Oh well. I was sure there was a logical explanation.

The troop usually went to a summer camp called Skymont. From what I understand, it is a nice little summer camp nestled in the mountains between Nashville and Chattanooga. Joseph has gone there twice with the troop. I have yet to be able to go. Last year, I couldn't because of work conflicts. The first year was because the troop asks first year parents NOT to go to camp with their boys. This is an effort to help the boys (really the parents) learn some independence. Of course, I later learned from Mr. Sam that the next time I think the new parent rules apply to me, I should just come see him so he can set me straight. As punishment for such ignorance I am now troop committee chairperson.

Anyway, before my rambling strays too far from the subject at hand, I brought up Skymont because of the food. It is amazing the perception difference between boys and adults. I don't think I heard a single negative comment from any boys about the food at Skymont. The adults, well...they were a different story. The opinions ranged from the food being alright to, "You call that food?" Now, let's fast forward back to the present.

Our first food experience this year was in Bremen, GA. We stopped there to spend the night before finishing the trip to Rainey Mountain. What do you feed twenty four hungry boys late in the evening? Pizza! So, I make the call to Papa John's.

"I need ten pizza's"
"Excuse me. How many, sir?"
"Just ten...and six 2-liters."
Remember the old Sprint commercial with the pin drop? That's what it sounded like on the other end of the line.
"...and you want these delivered?"
"Naw! We'll pick them up. You just tell us when." With that, I am sure I heard a chorus of angels singing, and trumpets blowing on the other end.
"Oh, thank you, sir! I was afraid you wanted them right now. Let me see what kind of discounts I can give you."

Note to self: After you scare the snot out of the pizza person, relieve their fears. Suddenly you might receive many discounts.

2nd note to self: What happens when you feed boys pizza at 9pm? You have 24 wild and screaming boys at 3am, and you are left wondering how in the heck you got roped into this.

The next day it was McDonald's for breakfast and lunch. It is fun to discover which McDonald's have experience serving large groups. We walked into McDonald's in Bremen for breakfast. They were all smiles and ready to go. By the time our last boy ordered, those smiles had somehow disappeared. Poor things. Just as we were finishing up they had to deal with a tour bus of hungry teens. Something tells me there were a few employees of that restaurant rethinking their career paths.

Lunchtime was in Clayton, GA. It quickly became apparent that this McDonald's was used to huge groups of Boy Scouts dropping by for lunch every Sunday during the summer. Three troops hit at the exact same moment. I don't think it took more than thirty minutes for all three troops to order and eat, and the staff just had smirks on their faces that said, "Come on! Is that all you got!?!"

Now for the real reason for this blog. Summer camp food. Camp Rainey Mountain is big. In fact, the dining hall easily seats 800. That's big. Not big enough though. It just so happened we picked the busiest week of summer camp. There were over 930 boys in camp. Not total people. Just boys. Add another couple of hundred people to account for adult leaders. That's a lot of hungry mouths to feed every day. Was Rainey Mountain up for the challenge? We would soon find out. For Sunday dinner, we all sat down to trays of baked chicken (an entire leg and thigh quarter per person), green beans, mashed potatoes, roll, cookies, and fresh fruit.

"Mr. Jim! Mr. Jim! This food is waaay better than Skymont!" Wow! Things are looking good for this camp.

Monday morning: We are all looking forward to what breakfast brings. Especially after having such a wonderful supper the night before. After all, we need as much nourishment as we can get. We have to climb Mount Kilimanjaro...twice...just to get to our campsite. As I am headed to my table, I look down at my tray. Two slices of toast, and two slices of bacon, milk and juice. Hmm. I better pick up some fruit.

Monday lunch: Cheeseburgers and french fries! Woohoo! Okay, make that a hamburger and five french fries. The cheese disappeared many people ago. I'm sure those having triple cheese cheeseburgers are quite satisfied. Mr. Sam ain't lookin' too happy over there. Not only does he not have cheese, he doesn't have tea.

Monday supper: Bean burrito night! Bean burritos, nachos and ... no cheese. Mr. Sam is really looking ticked at this point. They ran out of nacho cheese before we got through the line. I think he made some comment about them knowing how many people they had to feed. I'm not sure though. The only thing I am sure of is we are all getting the feeling we were bamboozled on Sunday night. We aren't even close to being halfway through the week.

Note to self: When the entire camp just got done eating bean burritos try to be the last in bed...and enjoy the fresh air as long as possible. Nobody should have to bunk with five other people after a night of bean burritos. It's just not humane.

Needless to say, the week did not improve foodwise. On Tuesday, we had chili dogs. Hallelujah! We made it through the line and there was still cheese left. Mr. Sam reached for the cheese, hesitated, then pulled back. "I'm not eating any cheese. I'm rebelling!" I'm not quite sure Mr. Sam's rebellion was really noticed by the camp, but it brought a smile to his face. In my book, that gets put down as a success.

By the end of the week, it was no longer "this food is way better than Skymont!" Now it was, "Mr. Jim! Mr. Jim! Can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze go to Skymont next year. At least we get seconds there!"

I know why I can't remember anything about my summer camp food experiences. Often, when a person is traumatized, their mind will block all memories of the event, as a survival mechanism. That must be the reason. Hopefully, that survival mechanism will kick in for these boys soon.

(Please don't take this blog entry too seriously. While there were definitely some issues with portion sizes and running out of food, the camp did an admirable job of trying to cope with over 1,000 mouths to feed. Despite the food issues, I think every boy will tell you that the Camp Rainey Mountain staff was the best staff...EVER! I have never met a group of people more dedicated to making sure the boys and their leaders have a positive camp experience, and that is including summer camp staffs I served on. Kudos to the CRM staff.)