What do you call a heart attack smothered in clogged arteries? A good southern breakfast!

Don't you just love southern cooking? If you really think about it, good southern cooking is really just a method for killing people...all while leaving a gigantic smile on their mouths. I do my best to make things healthy. I try to ensure each meal has at least one vegetable that has not been deep fried. I also try to stick with the leaner cuts of meat whenever possible. Unfortunately, no matter how healthy one tries to be, the subtle call of a southern breakfast can't be resisted. Every now and then, one must succumb to the cries of the biscuits and gravy.

One of those days happened to be this past Saturday. I had a hankering for a good southern breakfast. In fact, that hankering started the night before, so I was actually able to plan for it. In my mind I saw a plate full of biscuits smothered in sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, buttered grits, and hash brown potatoes. Didn't have any grits in the pantry. Scratch those, I soon discovered I was in the same world of hurt regarding my breakfast sausage. Wait a minute, though. I remembered a pound of ground pork in the freezer. I decided that I needed homemade sausage. Homemade pork sausage can be wonderful. The thing is you have to be very careful about how much sage you use. The tendency is to use a lot. However, it is very easy to overwhelm the rest of the flavors with the taste of sage. If you use too much sage, you will end up with sausage that has somewhat of a musty earthy aftertaste. Anyway, I mixed the seasonings into the pork on Friday night, and put the mixture in the fridge to meld the flavors overnight.

The first task on Saturday morning is biscuits. I will admit, I am just as finicky about my biscuits as I am about cornbread. It doesn't take much for me to deem a biscuit a total failure. When looking for a biscuit recipe, I am always looking for something crusty, but not too crunchy,  I want a pillowy soft interior to this biscuit. A good sign of a pillowy interior is a biscuit that has risen high. In my search for the perfect biscuit, I came across a recipe for cracked black pepper biscuits from Bobby Flay. You can find the recipe at the Food Network site. Of course, I had to make a few modification. I took off the black pepper. Not once have I ever had black pepper on the tops of my biscuits. No black pepper. Bobby calls for twelve tablespoons of unsalted butter. Personally, I am a shortening fan. Finally, Bobby wanted me to brush the biscuits with cream before placing in the oven. Cream aint cheep. Milk worked just fine. In fact, those were some downright tasty biscuits. They were definitely fluffy.

That funny shaped biscuit in the middle is Neva's special biscuit. I always have a scrap of dough left. Usually, it is just big enough for one more biscuit. Rather than rolling and cutting out, I just shape it by hand. Nobody (and I do mean nobody) is allowed to eat that biscuit but my lovely wife.

All that was left was to make the sausage gravy and other breakfast items. In the end, I ended up only fixing the gravy and some hash brown potatoes. I decided we really didn't need eggs too. I would like to think I was being health conscious.  After all, while eating my scrumptious breakfast, I only felt one artery harden. That has to be an improvement. I sure hope going back for seconds and thirds don't count against me.

Hello Muddah! Hello Faddah! Here I am at...

I know. The title has you wondering how that can lead into a blog entry about food. It's a stretch, but bear with me. You see, I just returned from a week at summer camp. Still wondering where I'm taking this?

This year I went to summer camp with Joseph's Boy Scout troop. It was a looong trip from Memphis to Camp Rainey Mountain, just outside of Clayton, GA. As I was preparing for this trip to Georgia, I decided to reminisce a little. You see, I've been involved in scouting for quite some time. With the exception of a 12 year period before my son was old enough to join, I have been active in the Boy Scouts since I first joined as a cub in 1977. The amazing thing though, is this was going to be my first summer camp trip since 1986, the last year I served on summer camp staff.

Often, some of the greatest camp stories involve food. As I stated above, I decided to reminisce about my summer camp experiences growing up. Surely I could remember some great stories involving eating at summer camp. After all, I had attended summer camps in Alabama, New York, Italy, Greece, and Germany. So I thought...and thought...and thought. Nada! Zip! Zilch! That's what I had stored in the summer camp food memory drawer. Can you believe that? All those places, and I couldn't remember one thing about what I ate. That was strange. Oh well. I was sure there was a logical explanation.

The troop usually went to a summer camp called Skymont. From what I understand, it is a nice little summer camp nestled in the mountains between Nashville and Chattanooga. Joseph has gone there twice with the troop. I have yet to be able to go. Last year, I couldn't because of work conflicts. The first year was because the troop asks first year parents NOT to go to camp with their boys. This is an effort to help the boys (really the parents) learn some independence. Of course, I later learned from Mr. Sam that the next time I think the new parent rules apply to me, I should just come see him so he can set me straight. As punishment for such ignorance I am now troop committee chairperson.

Anyway, before my rambling strays too far from the subject at hand, I brought up Skymont because of the food. It is amazing the perception difference between boys and adults. I don't think I heard a single negative comment from any boys about the food at Skymont. The adults, well...they were a different story. The opinions ranged from the food being alright to, "You call that food?" Now, let's fast forward back to the present.

Our first food experience this year was in Bremen, GA. We stopped there to spend the night before finishing the trip to Rainey Mountain. What do you feed twenty four hungry boys late in the evening? Pizza! So, I make the call to Papa John's.

"I need ten pizza's"
"Excuse me. How many, sir?"
"Just ten...and six 2-liters."
Remember the old Sprint commercial with the pin drop? That's what it sounded like on the other end of the line.
"...and you want these delivered?"
"Naw! We'll pick them up. You just tell us when." With that, I am sure I heard a chorus of angels singing, and trumpets blowing on the other end.
"Oh, thank you, sir! I was afraid you wanted them right now. Let me see what kind of discounts I can give you."

Note to self: After you scare the snot out of the pizza person, relieve their fears. Suddenly you might receive many discounts.

2nd note to self: What happens when you feed boys pizza at 9pm? You have 24 wild and screaming boys at 3am, and you are left wondering how in the heck you got roped into this.

The next day it was McDonald's for breakfast and lunch. It is fun to discover which McDonald's have experience serving large groups. We walked into McDonald's in Bremen for breakfast. They were all smiles and ready to go. By the time our last boy ordered, those smiles had somehow disappeared. Poor things. Just as we were finishing up they had to deal with a tour bus of hungry teens. Something tells me there were a few employees of that restaurant rethinking their career paths.

Lunchtime was in Clayton, GA. It quickly became apparent that this McDonald's was used to huge groups of Boy Scouts dropping by for lunch every Sunday during the summer. Three troops hit at the exact same moment. I don't think it took more than thirty minutes for all three troops to order and eat, and the staff just had smirks on their faces that said, "Come on! Is that all you got!?!"

Now for the real reason for this blog. Summer camp food. Camp Rainey Mountain is big. In fact, the dining hall easily seats 800. That's big. Not big enough though. It just so happened we picked the busiest week of summer camp. There were over 930 boys in camp. Not total people. Just boys. Add another couple of hundred people to account for adult leaders. That's a lot of hungry mouths to feed every day. Was Rainey Mountain up for the challenge? We would soon find out. For Sunday dinner, we all sat down to trays of baked chicken (an entire leg and thigh quarter per person), green beans, mashed potatoes, roll, cookies, and fresh fruit.

"Mr. Jim! Mr. Jim! This food is waaay better than Skymont!" Wow! Things are looking good for this camp.

Monday morning: We are all looking forward to what breakfast brings. Especially after having such a wonderful supper the night before. After all, we need as much nourishment as we can get. We have to climb Mount Kilimanjaro...twice...just to get to our campsite. As I am headed to my table, I look down at my tray. Two slices of toast, and two slices of bacon, milk and juice. Hmm. I better pick up some fruit.

Monday lunch: Cheeseburgers and french fries! Woohoo! Okay, make that a hamburger and five french fries. The cheese disappeared many people ago. I'm sure those having triple cheese cheeseburgers are quite satisfied. Mr. Sam ain't lookin' too happy over there. Not only does he not have cheese, he doesn't have tea.

Monday supper: Bean burrito night! Bean burritos, nachos and ... no cheese. Mr. Sam is really looking ticked at this point. They ran out of nacho cheese before we got through the line. I think he made some comment about them knowing how many people they had to feed. I'm not sure though. The only thing I am sure of is we are all getting the feeling we were bamboozled on Sunday night. We aren't even close to being halfway through the week.

Note to self: When the entire camp just got done eating bean burritos try to be the last in bed...and enjoy the fresh air as long as possible. Nobody should have to bunk with five other people after a night of bean burritos. It's just not humane.

Needless to say, the week did not improve foodwise. On Tuesday, we had chili dogs. Hallelujah! We made it through the line and there was still cheese left. Mr. Sam reached for the cheese, hesitated, then pulled back. "I'm not eating any cheese. I'm rebelling!" I'm not quite sure Mr. Sam's rebellion was really noticed by the camp, but it brought a smile to his face. In my book, that gets put down as a success.

By the end of the week, it was no longer "this food is way better than Skymont!" Now it was, "Mr. Jim! Mr. Jim! Can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze go to Skymont next year. At least we get seconds there!"

I know why I can't remember anything about my summer camp food experiences. Often, when a person is traumatized, their mind will block all memories of the event, as a survival mechanism. That must be the reason. Hopefully, that survival mechanism will kick in for these boys soon.

(Please don't take this blog entry too seriously. While there were definitely some issues with portion sizes and running out of food, the camp did an admirable job of trying to cope with over 1,000 mouths to feed. Despite the food issues, I think every boy will tell you that the Camp Rainey Mountain staff was the best staff...EVER! I have never met a group of people more dedicated to making sure the boys and their leaders have a positive camp experience, and that is including summer camp staffs I served on. Kudos to the CRM staff.)

Soup up your weight loss plan

So...the other day, I was at the doctor. It was my six month checkup. While I did get a license from the doctor to live another six months, one thing became abundantly clear when I stepped on the scales. My efforts to prepare for my role as the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Santa Claus were peaking way too early. I definitely needed to slow down on "getting into shape". For those of you who might still be wondering what I am talking about, my "bowl full of jelly" was quickly turning into a 55 gallon drum.

Weight Watchers and I have a relationship that goes back quite a while. Whenever they get a little tight on money, they call me up and say, "Hey, Jim! Why don't you come join us...again!" Well, as much as I admire WW (It really is one of the best ways to lose weight in a healthy manner) I am just having a very hard time getting excited about it. I know that my biggest problem is portion control. Don't get me wrong. I often put the correct portion on my plate. The problem is that the same portion gets put on my second and third plates as well. I am a fast eater. I always have been. The problem with being a fast eater is that one eats way too much before the stomach is able to send the "satisfied" signal to the brain. I like to blame it on the public school system. It seems that the further I went in school, the shorter my lunch period got. After nineteen years of wolfing lunch down, it becomes a habit that is very hard to break. I don't know if that is really the cause of my speed eating, but it does sound like a good excuse. Doesn't it?

This past week two things happened that restarted my weight loss efforts (hopefully, successfully). First, Debbie (my lifetime weight loss partner) brought in a Cooking Light magazine that was chock full of some darn good looking recipes. The second thing was a blog posting I read where the blogger asked his friend how he was successful with his weight loss. The answer was "soup". This person started each meal with a bowl of some type of soup...piping hot. By getting the soup piping hot, he was forced to eat it slowly, allowing his stomach time to fill with water, and send the satisfied signal to the stomach. Thus, he would feel full before he had a chance to eat too much of the entree. Made sense to me. I decided to try some of the Cooking Light recipes, and eat soup first.

I carefully picked out recipes that would be appealing to the whole family. The problem was finding a hot soup that would be appealing, and not be loaded with fat. The other problem with soup, is finding a good hot soup recipe that goes well with summer. I put my thinking cap on. What is one of my favorite soups? I love to get a bowl of wonton soup at the Chinese buffet. It is quite simply a very mild broth with boiled wonton dumplings. I was afraid that might not be too filling, so I tried to think of something that had a little more substance. The end result was Chinese cabbage soup. After some searching, I found a good recipe that I modified considerably, until I had the following.

Chinese Cabbage Soup

Ingredients:
1 Head Chinese Cabbage Chopped (see below for further info.)
1/2 diced onion
1lb ground meat (pork or chicken or turkey)
5 cups chicken broth
5 cups water
2 tsp sesame oil
2 Tbsp lite soy sauce
2 Tbsp rice wine vinegar
1 tsp white pepper

Brown ground meet in stock pot. Drain any excess fat.  Saute onions until translucent. Add rice wine vinegar. Add water and chicken broth, and bring to a boil. Add chopped cabbage to the pot, and simmer just until soft (about 3-4 minutes). Add soy sauce, sesame oil, and white pepper, stir well and serve.

Here's a little lesson on Chinese cabbage. There are two different plants often referred to as Chinese cabbage. One is bok choy. The other is napa cabbage. For this recipe, use the napa cabbage. Pay attention to the picture below, as the grocery store will often mix the two up.

Napa Cabbage

I added a couple more items to my cabbage soup, just to bulk it up more, and add some color. I just happened to come across some dried red bell peppers and carrots (That's a whole different story). I added about half a cup of each to the soup when I initially allowed it to start coming to a boil. The result ended up being a soup that was very light, but definitely filling.

Chinese Cabbage Soup

I decided to mix continents for the meal. The entree came from Italy, by way of Cooking Light.  We had Shrimp Pasta Florentine. I don't know the exact legalities of posting recipes from publications, so I won't post it here. However, just click on the name of the dish above, and you will go to the website.

That looks good. Doesn't it? I didn't take the picture. That is taken from the Cooking Light website. My dish didn't come out quite that pretty, but it was close. About the only change I made was using Angel Hair pasta instead of fettuccine. I only went that route because I like to get the pasta that tastes like regular, but has added fiber. The particular brand I was looking at did not have fettuccine.

So. I suppose you're wondering how things went. I can say that both recipes were resounding successes on the taste size. As for the hot soup helping to control my appetite, well........

It worked. I wasn't sure I could even down my one portion of shrimp and pasta. Of course, I did. I was NOT going to let that shrimp go to waste, unless it was my own!

I'll keep you informed if this souped up weight loss plan works.

So, What goes well with pork loin...that I actually have?

Apples!

Let me start off by apologizing for the lame title for this post. I was so proud of the meal I cooked Saturday, that I knew I wanted to blog about it. Unfortunately, in the ensuing days, I was not able to come up with a title for this blogpost that I really fancied. So! Since you got this far, you obviously got past the title. Thanks for not holding it against me, and refusing to read my ramblings.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I got up Saturday morning. (I know. that in itself is pretty amazing.) I was facing another four hour shift of grilling hot dogs, hamburgers, and smoked sausages for the Boy Scouts. (I think I now qualify as an expert on those items.) I also knew that there was only a minutely slim possibility that someone else in my family was going to start supper that evening. Therefore, I had to do one of those scary things, and plan ahead. I looked in the freezer, to see what could be put in the slow cooker. Behold! I still had a 2.5lb pork loin just waiting to be cooked. I nuked it in the microwave (on defrost). After all, any good chef would take all possible opportunities to add gamma rays, nuclear radiation, and all that other stuff to their food. That's what gives our dishes that special "glow". Remember that smoked salt I wrote about in another blog. Well, I sprinkled that and some black pepper on the loin and seared it in a skillet until all sides were nicely crisped.

Woohoo! Now I had a partially cooked lump of meat. That's really going to bowl the family over. What to do? What to do? Then my little eye spied a bag with some apples in it. It just so happened that this bag had one of those proverbial rotten apples getting ready to spoil the whole bushel (well...the other five). I took out Mr. Rotten and gave him the heave ho. Then I used the apple corer/slicer on the others. I did not peel the apple. People in my family quickly learn to enjoy fruit and vegetable skins. I hate peeling, unless the skin is just inedible. I then found some baby carrots, and craisins. Craisins are the neatest things. They're just like raisins, but made out of cranberries. The neat thing is they don't go bad...ever....never! That's right, folks, we actually have a food product that could potentially outlast the cockroach population of the world...without the use of preservatives. I mixed all that together with some granulated sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and just a little ground sage. I then put all that stuff on top of the pork loin. Heck! Even raw, this dish was starting to look good.

Fast forward about eight hours. Now we have a slow cooker full of pure heaven.

Oooo, Doggie! supper was gonna be good tonight. There was a problem though. With all that sugar, I still didn't have enough starch! (Calm down! I'm just kidding!) I had some potatoes that were starting to sprout some little vinelets (baby vines, for those of you who don't like me making words up). I decided we needed to have some Potatoes Anna to go with our pork roast.

Potatoes Anna is a fancy sounding name for a classic French peasant dish. It is quite literally just sliced potatoes, salt, pepper, and butter. Don't let that whole peasant dish thing disappoint you. That just means it is the food of the people. Go back to the Middle Ages and you basically had only two classes, aristocracy and peasants. Trust me, you and I would have been in the peasant class, and quite proud of it. They had better food. The peasants were the workers, and those cooking, knew they had to make the food hearty and tasty to provide the nutrition to keep the workers healthy. The other good thing about peasant food was that it was much less likely to contain hemlock or arsenic. Those aristocrats had a nasty habit of trying to kill each other off.

Anyway, Potatoes Anna is just good plain peasant food...and one of the tastiest ways to cook potatoes. It really is quite simple to fix. You basically slice six to eight potatoes as thinly as you can. Once again, they are supposed to be peeled. Once again, I didn't peel them. I find the best cooking dish for these is a good cast iron skillet. Melt a stick of butter. Brush the inside of the skillet with some of the butter, then cover the bottom with a layer of potato slices. Brush that layer with butter, then sprinkle with salt (Use kosher, if you have it. It provides little bursts of flavor you can't get with table salt.) and pepper. Lay down another layer of potatoes and repeat with the butter, salt and pepper. Continue to do this with the rest of the potatoes. If you have any butter left over, drizzle it over the top of everything. You will end up with something like the dish pictured below.

Place some foil over the pan, and put it on a med/hi burner. Cook until you hear sizzling. Continue cooking for about five minutes. You will then transfer the dish to a 425 degree oven and bake for 20 - 25 minutes. Pull the foil off and press the potatoes down with a spatula. Bake uncovered for an additional 25 minutes. You should end up with something like this.

Crispy on the outside. Soft and buttery on the inside. You are supposed to then place a plate over the top and flip, so you can see the nice golden brown bottom. I had just spent four hours flipping burgers, and another two hours cooking supper. (I know! So much for saving time by planning ahead. I also baked a loaf of bread) I was not about to expend my last bit of energy, trying to flip a frickin' twelve inch cast iron skillet. The family would just have to imagine how golden brown it was on the bottom.

Needless to say. We ate very well that night. There wasn't a shred of pork left, and every belly was full. It was worth the effort, but the next day, I let the funny lady at China Royal cook for me.

That's Christina. I am NOT wearing a frilly pink sweater!

Eat Pizza and Promote Peace!

It is my firm belief that if God had given the Israelites pizza every day while they were wandering around for forty years (There's a good argument for GPS, if there ever was one), they would not have rebelled quite so often. After all, what one food item can easily present members of all food groups in a delicious, easy to hold form factor? Perhaps, if Moses had come down from the mountain top with some pizzas to feast on whilst reading the stone tablets, God's chosen people would have taken the time to actually comprehend the message he was delivering. I bet the whole Israeli/Palestinian conflict could be ended tomorrow, if the leaders would just sit down and hold a "Pizza Summit".

This pepperoni is divine! You can have Gaza.

Now! One might get the impression that I am ever so slightly partial to the culinary delight that is Pizza. I'm not really sure what would ever give one that impression, but he/she would be...

...correct.

What is there not to love about hot gooey cheese, tomato sauce and a crunchy crust. Even the act of cooking pizza is bliss itself. Would you consider visions of a hot bubbly meatloaf sitting in the oven romantic? How about a pot of brussels sprouts boiling on the stove top? That certainly gets the emotions going. However, they are NOT the emotions of romance and desire. But, then you imagine a pizza baking in a wood fired oven...

If that doesn't get you going, you are one cold hearted person!

Let's get something straight right now. Everyone thinks of pizza as Italian. What we eat over here, in the great US of A, is NOT Italian. The pizza we all grew up with is American through and through. I've been to Italy. I've had Italian pizza. I'm sure it tastes wonderful...to Italians. Yes, you can get a pepperoni pizza in Italy. But, that is really just an Italian selling you American pizza. That's the beauty of pizza, though. No matter where you go, you will probably find pizza. In each place, it will be different. Pizza is such a universal dish, yet completely customizable to the culture. The closest most of us will come to a true Italian pizza is a Pizza Margherita. This is pizza in one of it's simplest, yet most delicious forms. Tomato sauce, crust, mozzarella cheese, and fresh basil.

Everybody has their favorite local pizza joint. Pizza is one of those dishes that stirs up the passions. Everyone thinks they know where the best pizza is made, and all of you non-believers can just shut up, and go to...I think you get the picture. I'm like everyone else. I have my favorites too. None of those favorites include the three national pizza chains. Don't get me wrong. They aren't bad, just not great.

When I am looking for a place to go and relax with friends, while enjoying some of the best pizza, the family and I head over to Pietro Pizza and Subs. This place is run by a mother/daughter duo, two of the nicest people you will ever meet. Pictured below, is one of our favorite pizzas from Pietro...the Meatza pizza!

Pietro uses a fairly thin crust that puffs up nice and plump around the edges. It is not exactly like, but very similar to, a New York style pizza. If we are feeling especially sinful, we will order a stuffed Meatza. That sucker is a Meatza pizza with an additional crust put on top. that Top crust is covered in butter(I think), Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasonings. Very good, and very messy. If you are in the mood for something good, but not necessarily pizza, I can certainly recommend the strombili (definitely large enough for two people), or the Italian salad. If there is one complaint I have, it is that Pietro uses canned mushrooms on the pizzas and salads. Fresh would be much nicer, especially on the salads. However, if mushrooms are the only problem, I'll just shut up and keep chompin'.

A coworker of mine recently introduced me to my second favorite source for pizza. That would be Papa Murphy's. Papa Murphy's is the fifth largest pizza chain in the country, with over 1200 stores in 37 states. The interesting thing about Papa Murphy's is that you don't eat there. In fact, our local store has just one little bench. They don't even cook the pizzas for you. They simply build them, and hand them over...with instructions. While they may not cook their pizza's, they certainly do build some of the best pizzas you will ever bake. Do you want a pizza that tastes better than delivery? Go to Papa Murphy's. Don't let those DiGiorno people fool you. They make frozen pizza. It may be glorified frozen pizza, but it is still frozen pizza. I have yet to buy one that "tastes like delivery". Papa Murphy's is more expensive than frozen pizza, but definitely comparable to, if not better than, the national chains in price.

Last night, I went to Papa Murphy's. I got a Parmesan Chicken deLite, and a Stuffed Meat pizza. After tax, it was $26.50. Considering how big the pizzas were (The Parmesan Chicken was 14" and the Stuffed Meats was 16"), it was a very reasonable price. Straight out of the store, these pizzas had me salivating.

The Parmesan Chicken deLite had a thin crust, fresh tomatoes, chicken, and spinach, covered with mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. The Stuffed meats had pepperoni, ham, bacon, and sausage on the inside with mozzarella cheese. Then they topped the top crust with beef and a cheese blend. After they wrapped the pizzas in plastic wrap ( with their own convenient paper baking trays) I headed down to the local Home Depot and rented a giant winch to lift those bad boys up, and get them in the car. (Ok, I made the last part up.) I called home, and told my indentured servant (also referred to as a daughter) to put the oven on 425. When I arrived home, both pizzas went in the oven, and 40 minute later, we were eating the type of food that has the power to resolve any conflict.

Admit it! That looks good!

The crust on the deLite was crunchy on the outside, but soft enough underneath to fold the pizza. The crust on the Stuffed Meat...let's just say that I had to get a ladder to see over the edge of that thing.


So! Where's your favorite place to eat pizza? I bet it's not as good as mine. What are your favorite toppings? Have I made you hungry yet? Go ahead. You know you want some. Go pick up a pizza or two, and help promote world peace.

Name That Dish

So...

I was only home from a weekend of camping for a few hours, and already the natives were restless. "What's for supper!?!" This time the native's included a certain young lady's boyfriend. Into the kitchen I go. What will I feed my poor, helpless, little chicks? Hot dogs with mac & cheese? No. Joseph would love it, but no. Should I cook some chicken and have salads? No. Too healthy! Then it hit me. I should introduce Justin (that's the boyfriend) to Jimmy's Test Kitchen. You see, anyone who stays in my house long enough (and he has) get's to become a participant in my test kitchen...whether they want to or not. So, let the testing begin.

Of course, the first step when creating a dish in Jimmy's is to figure out what you have available. The wife says we have to do something with the pack of smoked sausages in the fridge. That certainly made meat selection easy. Then I looked to my left and spotted a bag of potatoes. Things are looking up. Of course I can't just simply do skillet fried potatoes and smoked sausage. That would be too common. Jimmy's Test Kitchen does not do "common". Anyway, I sliced the smoked sausage (ten sausages, if you must know), put a little olive oil in the skillet, pulled out the can of Tony Chachere's, and sprinkled it all over. A few minutes later, I had these tasty little morsels.

Next, I took eight potatoes and diced them. I followed this by mincing two cloves of fresh garlic. I tossed half a stick of butter in the oil and yumminess left over in the skillet from sauteing the sausages, and then tossed in the garlic. After sauteing a bit, I added the potatoes, lightly sprinkled with kosher salt, then heavily coated with Tony C's.

I let that cook for about 15 minutes on med-high, turning occasionally. This got the potatoes just to the point they were starting to soften. Then I tossed in a can of cream of chicken soup, a can of drained black beans, one and a half cans of water, and two tablespoons of ham base. I put the lid on the skillet, and allowed to cook for another ten minutes, stirring occasionally.

Once the dish was finished cooking, I stirred in half a cup of sour cream, and topped with one cups of shredded cheese (I used a fiesta blend, but any good melting cheese would work). Shazam! Dinner is served.

I am happy to report that minutes later, all but a cup of the molten lava pictured above had disappeared. The problem is that here I am, a day later, and I still don't know what to call it. Perhaps some of my readers can help. Come on, folks. Name that dish!

Memphis in May? Nah! It's March, and the Heat is On!

Here's the question. What do you do when it is a beautiful March day that is already promising to be sunny and in the mid eighties? Firstly, you sit there and wonder why it is sunny and in the eighties in March. Then you shrug your shoulders, pull a couple large sources of protein out, and slap them on the barbie. Meet Tom & Porky.

Ready for a day at the spa!

Ok! I know you can't just instantly pull out a couple of large chunks of protein like these. Both of these were taking up precious space in my fridge for days. Let's just call it poetic license and move on, shall we. I have been looking forward to weather like this since the last time I used this grill. That would be November of last year. I usually smoke a turkey for Thanksgiving as my official last act with the large grill. Today was going to be an all day treat, though. I throw these babies on the grill about 9am, and have turkey for lunch and pulled pork for supper. It was certainly going to be a wonderful day.

You might be wondering how I prepared these beauties before putting them on the grill. (I know you're probably not wondering that, but humor me. I don't know why you always feel you have to be so difficult!) I'm a briner. No. I didn't say I was a shriner. I said, "briner". I like to soak big pieces of meat in a brine solution overnight before cooking low and slow. Brine can be as simple as salt and water, or you can add other things to it for flavoring. Brining is a great way to add moisture to a large piece of meat. Whatever flavorings you add to your brining solution will lightly permeate throughout the meat. My brine consisted of salt, water, sugar, apple juice, bay leaves, thyme, and garlic. I put it all in a stock pot, and heated long enough to get the salt and sugar dissolved. Then I put the boston butt and turkey each in a brining bag, and poured half the brine into each bag. Finally, into the fridge they go for the night. The key is that the piece of meat MUST be completely submerged in the brine. The cool thing is that overnight, nature works it's magic and uses the brine to add the maximum amount of moisture each piece of meat can hold, without making the meat taste salty at all.

Most true BBQers would probably gasp at the idea of me brining a boston butt. Most people would put a layer of mustard or oil on the meat, then completely cover in a dry rub, wrap it in plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight. However, I find that brining penetrates the meat and adds flavor much better than the dry rub method. Besides, it really is no different that injecting with liquid just before cooking, which is how most of the pros do it. I do use mustard and dry rub, but only just before smoking begins. You might notice some dark areas under the skin of the turkey. I can't be for sure, since the turkey was already frozen when purchased, but I don't think it was in a bar brawl just before packaging. The darkness is from applying dry rub between the skin and the breast meat. I don't normally do this, but since I had a large batch of rub made, I figured, "Why not?"

About three hours into the smoking, and things were looking really good.

The tears in the turkey skin are due to me loosening it up to put the rub between it and the breast meat. I'm not really worried about it. We won't be eating the skin on this turkey. (By we, I do not include my son Joseph. He actually enjoys eating the skin) When doing a smoked turkey like this, the skin will usually have such an intense smokey flavor, that it borders on acrid. However, it is a worthy sacrifice for the juicy meat being protected inside.

There is probably some purist out there somewhere reading this blog, and preparing to add a comment about the fact I have the temperature probe in the wrong spot. All the cookbooks talk about putting a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh. Do you know what? Every time I do that, I end up with a turkey with a finished thigh, and a pink breast. Therefore, I put the probe in the breast. When it says it has reached the proper temperature, put the probe in the thickest part of the thigh for verification. Sometimes, those purists just need to get a life.

Anyway, another hour later, and my thermometer is beeping. Tom is cooked.

I love the deep red coloring smoking gives the skin

It was hot smoked turkey sandwiches for lunch. Then I had to pull out every weapon in my arsenal to ensure some turkey was left for another meal. Otherwise, Joseph would be going to town on that sucker.


Mystery Question
Here is a question I posted on Facebook. What is pictured below?

There were several neat guesses, but none correct. Are you ready for the answer? Are you sure you can handle the truth? It is smoked salt. The next time you decide to smoke something on the grill, fill a foil tray with kosher salt and set it on the grill as well.

It's like having your own homemade liquid smoke...without the liquid. The smoke will permeate the salt, adding it's flavoring to it. You will need to stir the salt every half hour or so to make sure the smoke hits every piece. If you want to add a slightly smoked flavor to your favorite dish, just add a pinch or two of this salt. It really is like using liquid smoke, but a whole lot cheaper. This works great with hickory. Today I used apple. I love to smoke using hickory, when I am smoking a turkey. However, when I smoke a boston butt, I prefer a fruit wood, such as apple. It imparts a slightly sweeter, less intense flavor to the meat. the fact it is less intense is important, since the boston butt will be on the grill considerably longer

Another five hours later and I was ready to pull the last piece of meat off of the grill. Why does it take so long? Pork is ready to eat at 160 degrees. However, it will not be easy to pull for "pulled pork". For this to happen, the connective tissues and collagen have to break down. This doesn't begin to happen until about 170 degrees, and is completed when the butt is between 190 and 200 degrees. Don't worry. A boston butt has fat marbling all through it. It can handle cooking that slowly, and still be moist. It is important that you only do this with a boston butt, or picnic shoulder. A pork loin is way to lean, and needs to be taken off at the 160 degree point.

The lovely bark you see is the result of the rub and basting with apple juice every hour. I also added another layer of dry rub about two hours before finishing. This made for an extra thick crust bark. When pulling or chopping the pork, do NOT through away the bark. When you pull the pork, the pieces of the bark create little bursts of intense flavor while eating the pork.Trust me on this one. Do NOT through that bark away!

After letting the meat rest for half an hour, the final product looks like this.

Boy howdy! That was good. I am soooooo glad BBQ season is here!